Taking Chances
by Bexta03
Summary: Bella Swan is diagnosed with Acute Leukaemia and moves to Forks to spend time with her dad. It's here, she meets her new friends. They all learn to trust and love each other. But will her cancer stop her from living her happy loving life? A/H and OOC
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight Characters, unfortunately. They all belong to Stephanie Myer.**

Chapter one

"I'm sorry, but your daughter has Acute Leukaemia." The doctor informed my father and mother as I sat next to them, swinging my feet. My eyes shot up to see him look sad. I turned to my parents, my mother had tears and my father looked strained. I yawned, I was always tied now.

"Acute Leukaemia...is that, is that the worse type? Are you saying she has cancer?" My father mumbled.

"Acute leukaemia is characterised by the rapid increase of immature blood cells. This crowding makes the bone marrow unable to produce healthy blood cells. Immediate treatment is required in acute leukaemia due to the rapid progression and accumulation of the malignant cells, which then spill over into the bloodstream and spread to other organs of the body." The doctor informed us, going into doctor mode. I stared at him, those words made no sense. But I knew one thing. I was sick.

"But she's, she's only 6. How can she have gotten it? We live in the middle of no where, surrounded by fresh air and clean...things! How can she have caught it!" my mother sobbed into my fathers shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her. What about me? I'm the one whose sick... I want a hug.

"This form of leukaemia is the most common in children. As to why she got it? It could be hereditary, it could be developed over time, there are several reasons to why she could have gotten this. But the main thing is, it is treatable, and 90% of cases do live after treatment."

The continued to discuss treatments, one called chemotherapy. There all big words, I don't understand. All I really knew was I didn't like it and I wanted to go home.

"Bella? Come on sweety" My daddy said picking me up. I must have fallen asleep.

I touched his face "Daddy, am I going to die?" I asked him.

My mother, who was beside me and Daddy, made a strange sobbing noise.  
"No honey, you wont die. I promise" He mumbled.

I snuggled into his arms, avoiding my many bruises and yawned, falling back asleep.

* * *

One year later

"Daddy! I want pancakes!" I cried, running down the stairs.

He seemed to almost have a heart attack "Be careful Bella!" He cried, catching me at the bottom.

I didn't fall though!  
He sat me at the kitchen table.

"Where's mummy?" I asked him.

"She's gone to work, your staying home with me now" He said, smiling.

My mummy was a waitress at the diner in town. Me and Daddy eat there sometimes when she's working and she gives me free ice cream.

Daddy puts pancakes in front of me and I start eating, happy. "What are we doing today?" I ask him.

"Well, we have to go get mummy at lunch time and then we have to go back to the hospital." He explained, watching my reaction.

My face fell. I don't want to go back there "The hospital...but we were there yesterday!"

"And we have to go back, because we want to get you better"

Daddy took me to the diner and then with mummy we went to the hospital. They pricked me with the sticks and they told mummy things that made her cry. I didn't like coming here, it made everyone sad.  
Daddy and Mummy left to go outside for a moment, leaving me on the bed while blood came out of me into the doctors baggy. I could here them outside my room. Mummy was crying and Daddy sighed. Then they started arguing.

Where they mad at me for getting sick?

* * *

Two years later

"Happy Birthday To you, Happy Birthday To you, Happy Birthday dear Bella, Happy Birthday To you" My parents sang, standing either side of me.

I blew out my 9 candles, smiling up at them and the yawning. They took the cake away and placed it next to my bed. I snuggled down, careful not to put pressure on the medicine going in through the needle or my bandaged arm. I fell over at school and because of my cancer my scratch turned into a life threatening hole that wouldn't stop bleeding. They had to take me to the hospital, today was my birthday.

I was tired, from the events and blood loss. My parents told me to sleep.

I woke up to hear them arguing.  
"Charlie, this isn't working out" My mother said angrily.

"Renee, not here...not now. Wait until we get hom-"  
Mum cut him off "Yes here. I want a divorce and I want to move to Phoenix, I'm taking Bella. They have much better hospitals and facilities for her than here. In forks!"

My heart dropped. Divorce. The magic word that every child hates to hear.

My dad was speechless and when I opened my eyes, his look killed me. He was heartbroken.

* * *

7 years later

I am 16 years old now. Bald because of chemo, tired because of it, sick because of it and just plain angry. I hated this all, my whole life I have had cancer, Leukaemia.

I have been living with my mother for 7 years now, and have only seen my dad for two weeks in the summer holidays. But he came here because of the hospitals and because I don't travel well.

I have been homelschooled for basically my whole life. I have been soffocated and I am sick of it.

But I had had enough, the smoky city, the heat and my mothers careful eye. I didn't get to live, I didn't get to breathe. I wanted a new leaf, a new start. So, I brought it to the attention of my mother that I wanted to move to Forks to live with my father.

She argued, of course. But I brought up the fact that chemo isn't always working, and soon...I could die. I wanted to spend time with Charlie before that.

She cried, she screamed, she made me feel horrible, but I had always been stubborn, and I couldn't live here any more. I needed freedom. I needed to take a chance

**I don't have any clue about illness's but I am trying to learn. Sorry if i offend anyone or insult anyone.**

**Please review: Theres a botton down there. REVIEW REVIEW  
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	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

I pulled on my beanie over my bald head. It used to be just patches of long brown hair, which was stringy and thing. So I shaved it all off. This was because of the Chemotherapy, one of the few side affects.

Dad called from downstairs as I pulled a jumped and then my coat on. I had to make sure I stayed especially warm, if I got cold, I could get sick and that could turn into a worse illness because of my weak immune system.

"Bells, I gotta leave soon, I'll give you a ride to school"

I wished I had a car, that would help so much. "Coming!" I called down the stairs as I pulled on my boots over my skinny jeans and picked up my back pack.

"You look...happy" he said, smiling.

I nodded "First day at a real school since grade 1. I'm very happy" I told him.

We drove in silence and when we stopped in front of the school he stopped me.

"Do you have your medicine?" He asked.

"Yep"

"Are you gonna be alright" He mumbles, pulling something out of the glove box.

"yep"

"Are you sure?"  
"Yep"

"Can you answer me properly?"  
"Dad, I promise you that I will be alright" I promised leaning over and kissing his cheek.

"Alright, but just in case" He said, pushing something into my hand "The number's in the box. I already got help with putting in my work and my numbers. Please be safe, don't get into too much trouble...Do you want me to come in?"

I looked down and saw a new phone. Wow, "thanks dad. But now I'm positive I will be alright"

He nodded "Call me if you need me"

I smiled and hopped out of the car and then waved until he turned the corner. Then I faced the school. Children, healthy teenagers roamed the grounds, getting out of their cars and talking to friends. So normal, so careless, so free!

I trudged up the small path and into the first building, the office. "Hi I'm Bella Swan, I'm new" I said to the old lady at the desk.  
She pushed up her glasses and sniffed as she looked me up and down "Bella?" She asks.

"Ah, Isabella Swan" I repeated.

"Sorry, speak up dear"

"Isabella Swan!" I say louder.

She cringes "not that loud"

She hands me a schedule and map, telling me to have a nice day. I waved and made my way back across the school parking lot.

"Hey? Hey?! HEY?" Someone called. I turned and found a boy about my age with a baby face and skin problems approach me. "Hey, I'm Mike"

"Bella, Bella Swan" I mumbled.  
He smiled "so, your new?"  
"Yep. Started today"  
"Great, do you want some help getting to your next class? I can show you" He offered, and before I had a chance to say no, he took my schedule and read it. "English is this way, come on"  
I followed Mike toward the English building and then he dropped me off, sprinting off as the bell rang, signalling the start. A few students pushed passed me and entered the building, I slipped in behind them and went up to the teacher, introducing myself.

"Bella, you can sit right there, if you have any questions you only need to ask"

I nodded and folded my hands, listening intently to the teacher, so it gave me a shock when someone slammed the door.

"Miss Cullen, nice of you to join us" The teacher said angrily, pointing to a seat...the one next to me.

The small girl, who just came in, took off her hat, shaking out jet black, short hair and pulling off her coat, jumping into the chair next to mine, she seemed on cheerful and very energetic.

She turned to me, confused at why I was looking at her "Hi?" She said, her voice sounding like chimes.

"Hi" I whispered.

She smiled, sensing my embarrassment. "My name is Alice Cullen, you must be new"

I nodded. "Bella Swan" I said, pulling my hat down further.

She noticed but didn't say anything, turning her attention to the teacher.

The bell rang in an hour, signalling next period. And after that, was lunch. I slowly walked to the hall and grabbed my tray, selecting a salad and water, then sitting down at a empty table. There I quickly swallowed my medicine and then took a gulp of water, making sure no one saw.

"Can I sit with you?" Asked the familiar chiming voice. Alice.

I nodded, pointing next to me.  
"So, new huh? Found any friends?" She asked me, picking at her lunch with one hand.

"No, not yet" I mumbled.

Smiling, she popped some carrot into her mouth. "My brothers will come soon, and my brothers girlfriend and her brother. Don't be afraid, they wont hurt you"

I nodded, but became afraid anyway "Maybe I should sit somewhere else? I don't want to impose-"  
"Alice? Who is this?" Someone asked, in a very loud, booming voice.

Alice leant in "this is Emmett and Edward" She told me, glancing behind me where the voices were coming "There sweet, despite Em's size and Edwards silence. Don't try to talk to him, he wont talk back"

I nodded and jumped slightly when a giant man sat beside me. "Hi, I'm Emmett! Are you Alice's new toy?" He asked, laughing.

Alice smacked his arm, and snaked hers around my shoulders. She had moved over next to me to make room to give the other boy a seat. "She isn't a toy. She will be my friend Emmett!"

"Don't worry, I wont let her bite" Emmett told me.

Someone chuckled silently and I turned to find the most amazing green eyes staring at me. So much story behind them and then I focused further out and found his face. There were no words to describe it, his mouth, his nose, his ears and then back to his eyes.

Emmett laughed as I stared.

"Hi" I said, quietly.

Emmett laughed again, it seemed that was all he could do "Edward here, wont talk. He dosen't talk to people other than his family" Emmett leant in to whisper to me "He has trust issues.

Someone kicked Emmett in his leg, making him swear. He threw this fork at his brother and then stood up and wrapped an arm around a beautiful blonde who had just come up. He then kissed her passionately.

I looked away and found another guy standing next to the girl.  
"I'm Jasper Hale, are you new?" he asked.

"Yes, I'm Bella Swan" I said, smiling politely.

"So Bella, want to come to my house tonight? Meet my parents?" Alice asked.

"I think you might scare her away Al, let her get to know you before you throw her in the deep end." The blonde woman told us, sitting down next to Emmett, Jasper sitting next to her.

"Ah, I would come, except my dad is picking me up. Maybe another time" I told her.

She smiled and nodded excitedly. The bell rang and we all jumped up and went to our next class.

The classes went quickly. During the period I was meant to have biology, I was called to the principle office to discuss my 'condition'. They just wanted to hear about it and wanted to know what they had to do and everything. Then, I went back to the next class, and then the last bell rang.

I met my dad at his car, the police cruiser. Alice skipped over "hey, Bella, what did you do?" She asked, laughing at my expression.

"This is my dad, Chief Swan, I'm not in trouble" I laughed.

She nodded "I was joking"

"We'll, I gotta go, I'll see you tomorrow" I told her, waving and then climbing into the front.

"So Bells, good day?" Charlie asked me.

I nodded, resting my head on the window. I had been hiding it at school, but I had grown extremely tired now.

Once home, dad made me take some more medicine and then ordered me to go upsets to rest. He would make dinner.

"Bells, Your doctor is on the phone" Charlie called from downstairs, waking me up.

I picked up the phone on my bedside and answered groggily. "Hello"

"Bella, how have you been?" He asked me.

I did knew he did not mean my emotions, I knew he meant my physical and cancer state being.

"Im alright, tired at the moment...but that's like every day at this time" I said, glancing at the clock.

"Good." he praised. I could hear the smile in his voice.

"I have organised for you to be a patient of a Dr. Carlisle Cullen. I know him though he's a good guy" My doctor explained.

"Cullen?" I asked "I know a Alice, Emmett and Edward Cullen. They go to my school"

"Yes, they are his and his wife's, Esme Cullen's, adopted children" He explained. I felt bad learning this of my new school mates, sort of friends. "Dr. Cullen is a great doctor, you will be able to trust him, I trust him" He said.

We talked a bit more and then he had to go, I could hear an announcement over the speakers. I could imagine him sitting in his office while talking me on the phone. I had been there so many times that I could picture it as easy as I could picture my bedroom. The same as the hospital. Soon, the Forks hospital would become as familiar as the one in Phoenix was.

I sat at the table, eating dads cooking. Surprisingly, he could cook, he learnt and took lessons just to be able to cook me healthy foods. "Thanks dad" I said, smiling as he sat opposite me.

"Your welcome Bella." He said, seeming really happy that I was here.

"My doctor, recommended a new doctor today, you know, how I need one here in Forks, well, he gave my file to Dr. Cullen" I explained. I was sure that the my doctor had of talked to my father before hand, but I thought I should tell him I knew about it as well.

"Yes, I know" he said, smiling "You have to go in and see him tomorrow, you'll be missing your lunch time...sorry Bells"

I nodded, knowing that missing school would always be a part of my life "I understand"

The rest of the night went by quickly I watched some of the game with dad and then did some of my homework. Then I went to bed early, not being able to stay up late.


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors note: I do not know much at all about cancer or the treatment or symptoms, so whatever I say I have made up and are completely incorrect, or if they are right, its because it was a really good guess ;).**

Chapter three

Morning class always drags, so long because you've just woken up and your only thinking about the fact that you had to get up and not focusing on the teacher...like you should be.

But this was not what I was thinking about, Alice Cullen sat next to me, we were in English, and she began to tell me about her whole family. She had a big, extended, strange, close, connected but not connected family which made me jealous for being a only child.

"So, Mr. and Mrs. Cullen, Carlisle and Esme, adopted Emmett first. He was 6 years old then. Then only 2 years after that they adopted Edward, who was 6 then as well. And finally, there was me. I don't remember my home before them, the doctors say something about a traumatic2erf past so my mind mentally blocks it out...but I can't remember it, so I guess it doesn't really matter. I was 7 when they adopted me, Edward was 7 as well and Emmett was 9. They always picked on me" She said, scrunching up her face as if she was remembering.

The bell rang and she spun beside me "You gonna sit with us at lunch?"

"Ah, no sorry" I whispered trying to think of something other than the fact I had to go to the doctors.

"Oh...that's okay" She said, sounding and looking sincerely upset.

"No, no...I want to, I do, But I have to go meet Charlie, I have an appointment to go to...don't worry, tomorrow I promise to sit with you"  
She smiled "Is everything okay?"  
I nodded "just a check up" I told her.

She linked arms with me and continued down the hall.

Lunch time came around and I passed the lunch hall on my way to Charlie's cruiser. I saw the Cullen's and the Hales all looking at me as I passed. I waved and then Alice smiled "Bye Bella" She called, making a few people turn around and Emmett laugh. I quickly hurried into the car now, a blush creeping up to my cheeks.

We arrived at the hospital and were asked to go right into Dr. Cullens room. He was there waiting.

"Welcome Bella, My I've heard a lot about you" He said, smiling.

I blushed.

"Not only from your doctor in Pheonix, but from Alice, who seemed very animated at the dinner table last night" He laughed.  
"yes, she's been great, helping me fit in..." I whispered.

"She is right, your very shy!" Then he frowned when I sneezed. Going into doctor mode, he asked me questions, took some blood, poked and prodded me, filled out forms and then booked me in for my monthly chemotherapy session. They were the worst, they left me sick, throwing up and barely able to move from the bed.

We finally finished and I began to really trust Dr. Cullen, before we left I asked him for a favour "Could you, not tell your children? Your wife, sure if thats what you usually do, but ask her not to tell them...I don't want to have pity friends..." I mumbled.

He nodded "I understand, but I hope if you grow to trust them, then maybe you can share that with you, besides, Leukeamia isn't uncrurable..."  
I frowned "If its so fixable, I would have been fixed already! But the fact stays, I've had this since I was 6 years old! And I don't believe it's going away, the doctors, they don't say anything...but theres something different about my type, if you find anything strange, please tell me."

He nodded, looking really moved by my story "I promise Bella, and call me Carlisle, I have a feeling I'll be seeing you around the house soon...the way Alice has grown to like you" He laughed and then turned to his computer, leaving me to go back to school.

I made it with 10minutes left of lunch.

I bought a bottle of lemonade and stood to the side, confused and worried, I didn't want to just approach their table.

"Bella! Come here" Alice ordered.

So, after being invited, I did, I sat down next to her.  
"So, how was the doctors?" She announed.  
I laughed nervously. "Great...as much fun as it is"

She nodded "Who was your doctor? Was it our father?"  
I shrugged, not giving an answer.

She smiled and pushed some of Emmett's chips over to me "You have to eat, your wasting away to nothing. And whats with the hats?" She asked, going to yank it off me but my hand flew to it first.

"Nothing, they just...I...hats, please leave it" I begged.

School dragged on and it wasn't in Biology did I have another one of the Cullen/Hales, who were beginning to become my friends. _Friends_ I haven't had a friend in years. Since I waIs 6 to be exact.

Someone slid into the seat beside me and I smiled when I recognised Edward, he nodded in my direction. "Hi Edward" I said, knowing he wouldn't answer.

He smiled but turned back to his notes.

A thought came to me, "What happens if a teacher asks you a question, how do you answer?"  
He chuckled, the only sound he really does make. Then shoved a piece of paper in front of me.

_I write it down._ He had written in perfect calligraphy.

"But why? Why bother...can you talk?"  
He smiled and nodded.

"So, why not talk?"  
He frowned and shook his head. _Don't want to...brings back stuff I don't want to talk/write about. Sorry Bella, please don't ask again._

I could imagine he would have a frustrated voice and I began to really want to hear it, but I respected his wishes and paid attention to what was happening in front of me.

Class finished soon and I was free to leave. Charlie was waiting for me, leaning against a small blue car.

"Who's car Charlie?" I asked. I saw the Cruiser parked behind it.

"Oh, well...you know, I didn't think you would appriciate not having to ride in the cruiser, and this way you can visit all your friends. Hi Alice"  
I jumped when Alice appeared beside me.

"oooh Bella, whose car?" She asked.

"Mine?" I asked Charlie.

He nodded.

I beamed at him and threw my arms around his neck "Thank you" I whispered to him.  
"Any time Bells"

"Can I ride with you Bella? Please, Please? You can come over and visit my parents, and probably stay for dinner. Oh Can she Chief Swan?" Alice asked, jumping up and down.

"Of course Alice, Bella, you want to go?"  
"Sure, but I Have to stopped at my place first, pick up a few things." I told Alice, who rushed over to tell Emmett, who drove, what she was doing and then ran back to my car.

We sang lame pop/rock songs on the way to my place and there, I left her in the kitchen with Charlie while I dashed upstairs. Throwing off my hat, I thought they might find me rude if I kept it on during inside their home so I got something I hated wearing because it itched. A wig.

I slipped it on, over my prickly hair, it was growing back but would begin to go again once I began the chemo this month. I straightened it out and brushed it. It was brown, the exact same colour as my natural hair, except my dad said that it didn't have the same shine in it. I agreed.

Quickly changing my top I walked down stairs, hugging Charlie.

He pushed something into my bag which I knew was my pills. I had told him I didn't want anyone at school knowing, so I could have normal friends and he respected that.

"Lets go Bella. And wow? You actually have hair? I was beginning to think you were bald."  
I laughed uneasily "Yeah, I just like hats, my head gets cold usually" I lied, laughing at the stupid reason.

I drove, following her directions, and found myself in front of the biggest house I had ever seen, It had glass covering the hole front side and I smiled imagining how light and airy and..._healthy_ it would feel.

"Its pretty and big and yeah, but its home" Alice sighed, slipping out and then waiting for me.

I got my bag and then followed her inside.

"Mum!?" Alice called out.

"Alice, don't shout" A very friendly looking woman scolded, wiping her hands on a towel coming out of what looked like the kitchen. "Oh, Hello dear. I'm Esme" She said smiling.

"Bella" I mumbled "Swan"  
She smiled.  
"Can she stay for dinner?" Alice asked.

"Of course dear, where having lasagne, is that okay?"  
I blushed, realising she must know. "Of course" I said, happy that she was welcoming.

Alice and I sat at the couch for a while, watching the television. Edward sat with us, silent as always, but because he sat right next to me, every time we moved, this spark shot through me. I didn't know if he felt it, or if I was going crazy. Or if it was a new symptom, but I knew that it was strange. I kept catching him looking at me and that made me uneasy. Time seemed to go really quickly and soon Carlisle came home at about 6, half an hour before dinner. The time surprised me and I mentally scolded myself, I forgot my med's. Alice flung herself into his arms as Emmett and Edward gave him a small wave. Esme drifted into the lounge, kissed him and then went back to the kitchen. He didn't seem surprised about seeing me.

"Good evening Bella, how are you?" He asked, smiling.

"Fine" I said, silently wincing from the pins and needles that began to surface because I hadn't taken my medication yet.

I got up "I'm just going to the bathroom" I mumbled, noticing Carlisle's disapproving look. He knew I had forgotten.

Alice told me where and I quickly left and took my pills, shaking out my leg that had 'fallen asleep'.

Returning back to the lounge, Alice stood there waiting for me. "Dinners ready!" she announced, pulling me into this dinning room.  
"I'm sorry Mrs. Cullen, I would have helped, I forgot what the time was" I said, really feeling bad.

"Its no trouble dear, I have to make extra usually for this lump, so making something for you was no problem" She said, patting my hand as I sat next to her and Alice.

Esme smiled at her family as we began to eat. "Emmett, how was your day today?"

"Great!" he said with a mouthful of food. "Me and Rose, we slipped behind the gym and -" Carlisle cut him off with his hand connecting to his shoulder.  
"We have a guest Em, be nice" He scolded.

"Alice, what about you?" Esme asked, continuing on. This must be a family tradition.

"Fine, except for lunch, I was bored, Bella had a doctor appointment so she wasn't there. Hey Daddy, who was her doctor? She doesn't remember"

Carlisle's eyes darted to mine for a quick second "I don't remember."  
"But you said hello before, as if you knew her" Alice said, waving her fork around.

"I met her at the hospital, but I didn't realise she was your friend" he said smoothly. Then giving Esme a look.

"Edward dear, how was your day?" Esme asked.

I stared at her for a while, does she expect him to talk? I turned to Edward who was looking straight at me, slightly worried. I smiled, hoping to show him that he could trust me.

"Good, my day was good" He whispered. His voice was smooth and velvety. Reassurance and safety laced in the tone.

Carlisle patted his back and then smiled at his son. Alice gasped "You talked! In front of Bella, a non-family person! We have to celebrate"

I blushed.

"Alice, sit down" Esme said, pointing as Alice hoped up and down. Alice obeyed.

"And Bella, how was your day?" Esme asked me.

I jumped as she included me in the family. Smiling and blushing I answered: "It was alright, pretty uninteresting"

"Carlisle, Dear, I don't think you should fight Emmett for food..." Esme said suddenly.  
I turned to the head of the table and laughed loudly, along with Alice, Carlisle had his fork in a piece of meat, but Emmett also had his fork in it. I swear I could almost hear Emmett growling.

Carlisle gave the food to Emmett "See how caring, I give up my own food for your health"  
Emmett grinned "Thanks pop" he teased, poking his shoulder.

Once dinner was over, I had to leave, much to Alice's sadness. Edward came over and pulled me aside when I went to get my bag. "Please don't act like I will talk to you all the time at school, I am comfortable around you...enough to talk. Even though I do not know why, I just feel comfortable about being around you. But don't expect me to tell you why I don't talk in public, please just...please"

I nodded "It's okay, I understand...completely, about secrets"

He seemed to accept that and left down the hall.  
"Goodnight, Edward" I said.

He smiled and turned "Goodnight Bella"

I left very happy that night, Edward had talked to me. Although I don't know why this effected me so much. I felt as if I was on clouds...floating over the world.

After I got home, showered, took my medicine, let dad know I was going to bed, fell asleep. I dreamt of Edward Cullen and for some reason, when I woke up in the morning, my heart ached to see him... what was this feeling?


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter four  
Edwards POV of chapter three

I sat there, slightly bored and not really paying attention. What I was paying attention to was the fact that I would be seeing Bella again at lunch. Ever since I saw her on that first day, when she sat down with us at our table, my mind hasn't left her. For some reason, I felt comfortable and relaxed around her. A very different story to when I usually meet someone new. Usually my pulse quickens and I sweat, and then because I feel as if I might burst from anticipation and fear, I have to leave. This is all because of my childhood...

"Edward are you listening?" The teacher asked me. They all knew I didn't speak. And on strict orders from Carlisle are made to not try and force me too.

I nodded.

The first periods went on for what seemed like forever. Then, finally lunch came and I almost bolted to the cafeteria, only to remember not to look to weird and stalker-ish.

My excitement dropped dramatically as I saw Alice wave goodbye at Bella as she climbed into her fathers cruiser, and as Alice bounced over to me. "She's going to the doctors..." Alice explained as she saw my distress. Alice, my dear sister, has a strange way of seeing things. And she almost, always knows what is going on and how the outcome might fan out. "I'm going to ask her to dinner, if I catch her after school" She said, nudging my side.

Some girls on the other table watched as Alice grabbed my hand and pulled me to the table. Probably jealous that I let her touch me, when I wouldn't let anyone else even near. The only people who I spoke to were Emmett, Alice, Carlisle and Esme. Anyone else and it felt, wrong. I have said the odd word to Jasper and Rosalie, who know I only talk when I am comfortable, but I am thankful that they do not bug me to speak all the time.

"Edward, why so glum?" Emmett asked me as I slouched in my seat.

Rose grinned "He misses that Bella, I saw the way he watched her leave"

I shook my head and gave her a rude gesture. Emmett growled and covered 'his' Rose's eyes.

"Its okay baby, I'll beat him up later." He told her, and then turned to me. "that is no way to treat a lady!"

I laughed. A lady!

Lunch continued like that, my quiet contribution to the conversation was usually minimal, but today, I was excited. Bella Swan was coming over for dinner.

Toward the end of lunch, as I was day dreaming, looking out the windows, Alice's hand went flying up "Bella! Come here" She cried.

My gaze followed hers as I found Bella, buying a drink and then hurrying over, probably to get Alice to stop calling her name.

Alice smiled as she sat down. "So, how was the doctors?"

I became interested, hoping to hear why she went.  
She laughed nervously. "Great...as much fun as it is" She stopped there, not wanting to continue talking about it.

Alice nodded in thought "Who was your doctor? Was it our father?"  
Bella shrugged, not giving an answer.

I could see Alice about to ask more question, but I kicked her, Bella hadn't noticed

So instead, Alice pushed some of Emmett's chips over to her "You have to eat, your wasting away to nothing. And what's with the hats?" She asked, going to yank it off me but Bella's hand flew to it first. I saw Emmett pouting about his lost chips.

"Nothing, they just...I...hats, please leave it" Bella almost begged

I wonder what's under there.

Soon after the bell went and I went to gym, and then music and then my last period, Biology. I liked biology, not only because I was good at it, but because I was alone. I came in and froze. There, sitting next to my usual seat, was Bella Swan.

My hand became sweaty, but not through fear, not this time. This time I was just nervous.

I slid into the seat and when she smiled at me I nodded back.  
"Hi Edward" She said quietly.

I turned to my notes, not realising I was smiling.

She seemed to be thinking about something, "What happens if a teacher asks you a question, how do you answer?"

I chuckled, letting a few small sounds escape. And wrote on a scrap piece of paper _I write it down_ and then sliding it in front of her.

"But why? Why bother...can you talk?" She asked.

I would have been really annoyed by her questions, but for some reason, I knew she meant no harm, unlike some of the other students, who just liked to watch me squirm. I nodded in response to her question.

"So...why not talk?" She asked again.

I frowned, beginning to not like the way this conversation was going. _Don't want to...brings back stuff I don't want to talk/write about. Sorry Bella, please don't ask again._ I wrote quickly, giving her the paper.

I saw as she read and then went into her mind, not asking me anything else. I hope I hadn't offended her. We stayed silent for the rest of the class, except when we said a small goodbye.

After school, I stood with Emmett while we waited for Alice, who was with Bella. She came skipping forward. "Bella's coming over for dinner, so I'm going to drive to her place, and then back to ours. I'll see you soon!" she explained and then skipped off.  
"She's too cheerful" I mumbled.

Jasper and Rose took a moment to register who had spoken and then they laughed. "See you guys tomorrow" They told us before getting into Jasper's car and driving off.

"Lets go Eddie" Emmett teased and climbed into his car.

Once inside I sighed deeply.

Emmett didn't take his eyes off the road, but could tell something was different. "So, what's up?" He asked.

I chuckled, "Not much, the sky?"

"Edward, you know what I mean, why are you more involved at school...more awake"

"Because...I want to be. Is that okay?"

He nodded, but still thinking. Everyone thought he was thick and stupid. But he had a brain under all that muscle, just chose to use it very few times.

We both migrated to the TV when we came home. Saying a quick hello to Esme and letting her know Bella was coming over. "Challenge you" Emmett said, throwing me a control.  
"Your on" I replied, laughing.

Esme stood and watched for a while before going back to whatever she was doing... cooking I think.

"AH! I won!" I outburst.

Esme came out, beamed at me for being so comfortable and then left back to the kitchen. I swear, she lives in there, we tried to get her out but she told us she actually enjoyed being there.

I heard the car drive up and then continued playing attention to our game. Soon, they were both inside and Alice called out. "Mum!?"

"Alice don't shout" She scolded, coming in. "Oh, Hello dear. I'm Esme" She said, welcoming and kind as always.

"Bella Swan" Bella mumbled.

"Can she stay for dinner?" Alice asked, coming over to the couch, dragging Bella with her. Emmett huffed and turned off the game, switching it to a lame cartoon. _Futurama_ I think it was.

"Of course dear, where having lasagne, is that okay?" Esme asked, having this look of knowing on her face.

Bella blushed. "Of course" she said, beaming now.

She and Alice sat at the couch and watched the T.V. With us, I kept quiet, trying to gain enough courage to talk to her.  
Carlisle came home soon, it was about six then. Bella seemed surprised about the time and blushed when something must have crossed her mind.  
Alice ran into Carlisle's arms and I waved, as well as Emmett. Esme came out and kissed him, then leave through to the kitchen again. He didn't seem surprised about Bella being here at all. "Goodevening Bella, how are you?" He asked.

She smiled and then a wince washed her features as she rubbed her leg "Fine" She got up, "I'm just going to the bathroom"

I ignored the rest and left to help mum set the table. "Need help?" I asked her, taking the plates from her as she struggled to carry everything.  
"Thank you sweety" She said, kissing my cheek.

As I set the table she began to talk "I can see that you are beginning to become relaxed around Bella. And it's good. But honey, be careful, I trust Bella as well, and I know that you might one day too...remember that me and your father are always here for you"

"Thanks mum" I mumbled, meaning all of it. "Really, Thank you. For everything"

I sat at the table, Emmett joining me soon. And then we heard Alice tell Bella that dinner was ready.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Cullen, I would have helped, I forgot what the time was" She said, looking actually really upset.

"Its no trouble dear, I have to make extra usually for this lump, so making something for you was no problem" Esme said, smiling and then sitting opposite Carlisle. I was next to Emmett and Bella sat next to Alice.

Esme smiled at her family as we began to eat. "Emmett, how was your day today?"

"Great!" he said with a mouthful of food. "Me and Rose, we slipped behind the gym and -" Carlisle cut him off with his hand connecting to his shoulder.  
"We have a guest Em, be nice" He scolded.

"Alice, what about you?" Esme asked, continuing on. I felt a nervous twitch in my stomach as I realised I would be next..

"Fine, except for lunch, I was bored, Bella had a doctor appointment so she wasn't there. Hey Daddy, who was her doctor? She doesn't remember" Twitched jumped again, shit shit shit...can I do this?

Carlisle's eyes darted to mine for a quick second "I don't remember."  
"But you said hello before, as if you knew her" Alice said, waving her fork around.

"I met her at the hospital, but I didn't realise she was your friend" he said smoothly. Then giving Esme a look.

"Edward dear, how was your day?" Esme asked. Fuck! Calm down, breath, its just Bella. I turned to see her looking at Esme, then her eyes turned to me. She smiled weakly.

I let out a shaky breath. "Good, my day was good" I said quietly. Her eyes widen when hearing my voice.

Carlisle patted my back and I returned his smile.  
Alice gasped "You talked! In front of Bella, a non-family person! We have to celebrate!" She sung, jumping up and down. Oh my, this is why I don't go out.

"Alice, sit down" Esme said, pointing as Alice hoped up and down. Alice obeyed.

"And Bella, how was your day?" Esme asked me.

Bella jumped as she was included in the family. Smiling and blushing she answered: "It was alright, pretty uninteresting"

"Carlisle, Dear, I don't think you should fight Emmett for food..." Esme said suddenly.  
I laughed as I saw Carlisle, who had his fork in a piece of meat, but Emmett also had his fork in it. I could hear Emmett begin to growl.

Carlisle gave the food to Emmett "See how caring, I give up my own food for your health"  
Emmett grinned "Thanks pop" he teased, poking his shoulder.

Once dinner was over, Bella had to leave, much to Alice's sadness. I jumped up and followed her over to the hall, as she went to get her bag. "Please don't act like I will talk to you all the time at school, I am comfortable around you...enough to talk. Even though I do not know why, I just feel comfortable about being around you. But don't expect me to tell you why I don't talk in public, please just...please" I rambled. Did I even make sense?

She nodded "It's okay, I understand...completely, about secrets"

He seemed to accept that and left down the hall.  
"Goodnight, Edward" I said.

I smiled and turned "Goodnight Bella" As I walked up the stairs to my room. Once there I I looked out the window and watched her drive away. Once gone, I fell back to my bed. What was this feeling? This flying, lightness feeling I was experiencing? It was as if she could take away all my fears, and troubles. Was I...Was I falling in love?


	5. Chapter 5

**Authors Note: Please remember, that I have not experienced or am close to anyone who has had this type of cancer and at this age. The only cancer that I have known is kidney cancer and that was in my aunty. (R.I.P Aunty Bev). So if this is all wrong and it insults anyone please forgive me. I do not mean any harm. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own any Twilight Characters, they belong to Stephanie Myer  
**

Chapter five

Back to Bella's POV

"Morning Dad" I mumbled, coming into the kitchen and starting to get breakfast ready.

"You okay Bells?" He asked me, noticing my lack of awakeness.

I nodded and sat down, eating my breakfast fruits. Healthy foods...any junk and I could get worse.

"You can take a day off school...if you want" He offered.  
I declined, wanting to go and get my mind off what was happening. I needed chemo again, in the next week. My dad knew it too.

"I'll make an appointment" He sighed.

I went upstairs and got ready, putting on my wig and then tying that up into a ponytail. It was made of real hair, so it wasn't some straw type thing. I felt weird, at first, using someone else's hair, but then again, who cares. I can't have hair I might as well have someone else's...They get paid to get it cut off!

After doing my hair and getting dressed, I got my bag and left for school in my new car. It smelt new too, despite it being second hand. I turned the radio on and smiled as I listened to the songs.

I pulled into school but stayed in my car, it was too cold to go out and I didn't want to catch the flu. If I did, it would be hospital for two weeks while I fought it off, in those germ free rooms so I didn't make it worse and get pneumonia. I had that once before, when I was 9. It wasn't fun.

My car door opened and I turned to see Edward climbing in. "Hey" He smiled.

I was taken aback for a moment, didn't he say he didn't want to talk at school. "Hi" I said, smiling back, I was happy he could trust me now.  
"Its cold outside, and my brother is trying to beat me up, thought I'd come sit with you. Is that okay?" He asked "If its not, I can go back outside..."  
"No, No, It's fine. I'm just wondering why your talking to me...I thought you said you didn't want to talk at school"  
He nodded but then seemed very interested at something out the window "No one else can hear me..."

"I understand...not wanting to do something. But wanting to as well...You don't want to talk at school, because it frightens you. But you do because you want to be normal and get over that fear." I mused.

He seemed surprised "Thats exactly how I feel"

"Don't worry...your secret safe with me"

The bell rang now and I hoped up and joined Alice as we went to English. "So, having fun with my brother?" She asked, raising her eyebrows.

"No, Alice it's not like that...where just friends! I wont, We wont...We can't, I can't" I rambled.

"Its okay!" She calmed me down "I don't object. I think you two look really cute together. The way your all secretive but yet gaining each others trust"  
"I don't have a secret" I blurted out.

"Of course you do! If you didn't you wouldn't be so guarded. But its okay, I know secrets, and if you have your reasons, you have your reason. I trust you"

"Thanks Alice" I said sincerely.

The morning passed and soon it was lunch. Alice met me in the hall. "BELLA! GUESS WHAT!" She screetched.

I winced "Ahh, What?" I asked.

"Where going to have a party! Want to come" She asked me, jumping up and down.

"Uh, Who else is coming?"  
"Well, there be me, Edward, Emmett, Rose, Jasper, hopefully you, Bec, Emma, Jessica, Jonathon, Mike, Sam, Eric, Paul, Jacky, Louise, Chris, Julia, Michelle, Mitch, James, Vickie, Steve, Jessie AND" She took a deep breath "Cecily!"

"Are you sure there's no one else?" I asked, half amused and half worried.

"Huh, sure, I invited the whole school...but those are the only names I remember." She shrugged. "So are you coming?"  
"I'll have to ask my dad, but I think I'll come. When is it? And Where?" I asked, thinking if a adult wasn't there he on let me.

She told me about it and then I agreed that I would ask my dad. It was going to be this Saturday, today being Wednesday, we still had a bit of time. It would start at 7pm and go until late and Carlisle and Esme would be there, it was at the Cullen's house.

She got really excited, claiming we just HAD to go shopping. Great.

Lunch was eventful.

"Marko!" Emmett shouted from one side of the cafeteria, laughing hysterically.

Jasper grinned and cupped his mouth in his hands "POLO" Then he ran to a different place while Emmett stumbled, blindly due to his eyes being covered, over to Jasper's voice. You could here him swearing as he hit the tables.

Alice, Rose and I continued to laugh at there stupidity. Edward, sat next to me, laughing silently. Then lunch past and my other classes weren't at all interesting. Edward sat next to me in Biology and we had our silent conversation, writing on scrap paper. Then I got home, to a note on the bench.

_Bella,  
I managed to get you in tonight to have your chemo time. I'll pick you up at 5. Pack an overnight bag, you'll be there tonight. Sorry its such late notice, but I heard of the Cullen's party this weekend and figured you'd want your chemo as early as possible so you can recover._

_Dad._

I glanced at the clock and raced upstairs, packing my bag and some books, I knew I'd get bored. Then I sat on my bed, calling Alice's home phone.

"Hello" A kind woman answered. I'm guessing it was Esme.

"Hi, Mrs Cullen? It's Bella"  
"Ah, Bella, I told you call me Esme. Are you calling for Alice?"  
"Ah, Yeah. Is she home?" I asked her.

"No sorry dear...want me to get her to call you when she comes home?"

"Um, I wont be home. Is Edward there then?" I asked, not knowing if he'd come to the phone.

There was silence and then I heard Esme call for Edward. "He's coming now"

"Hello?" Edwards voice filled the phone. "Bella..."  
"Hi Edward, Um, sorry to call...but"  
"Don't be sorry! Do you realise I haven't used the phone in...years"

I smiled "My pleasure then. I'm just calling to let you guys know I wont be at school for the rest of the week. But I'm going to come to your party on Saturday. So I'll see you guys then"  
"Oh...okay. Can I ask where your going?"

Good. I had thought about this before I called "Yes. I'm going to see my mum, so I'm going to Phoenix for a few days"

"Okay then, have a safe trip. See you Saturday" He said, sounded slightly upset that I wouldn't be there.

I hung up and sighed. I'd actually miss them.

"Bells, ready to go? Where running late?" My dad called from the hallway.

I went to him and hoped in his car, letting him drive me to the hospital. Once there, it was pretty scheduled. I was shipped off to a room. Dad was made to stay and fill out forms. And then they started the Chemotherapy. It took about an hour and then after I was left feeling nauseous, sick and throwing up almost non-stop.  
**The Next Day.**

Ugh, I hate chemo. After throwing up for the sixteenth time, you get sort of annoyed and disgusted. I had nothing to throw up I was just dry retching.  
Dad had gone to work now, and I was told I had to stay here for the rest of the day, to observe my progress. I was just finishing throwing up the water I drank when Carlisle came in.  
"Good morning- Oh, honey are you okay?" He asked coming over and holding my hair.

"Yeah, its just the chemo" I told him.

He nodded, taking my bowl and going to rinse it in the connected bathroom. Coming back out he smiled and placed it beside me. "Don't worry, I'm sure you know if will go away soon...So how are you feeling? Beside the nauseous?"

"Not as tired as before, and I guess I'm still feeling tired, cause of all the throwing up, but I know this is all normal. I've done it plenty of times before"  
He nodded "Alright, let me know if you feel any different, you know what to look for if it starts to not work?"  
"Yeah, if I start getting a lot of pins and needles, and feel really exhausted for weeks on end." **(A/N: I don't know if this is true...or actually happens. I'm making it up). **

"excellent Bella. I'll come by at lunch, bring you something better than hospital food. Esme made us both a home made lunch" he told me.

I felt teary. "really?" I asked.

He smiled and left through the door. Leaving me with my bowl, and the stupid day time T.V.

"Lunch is served Bells" Carlisle said, waking me up softly with his voice. "Oh, I didn't see you were sleeping. Sorry Hun"

"Don't be sorry, I'm actually starving" I laughed.

"Your looking better, colour in your cheeks." He said, smiling. "So here's yours" Passing me a lunch box.

I breathed in. Chicken Risotto...Yum "Lets hope I can keep it down"

He sat down beside me and handed me a fork, helping me get the lid off. I had a IV, helping me get nutrients while I continued to throw up, but according to Carlisle, if I could keep this down then I would be able to go home. "So how was your morning?" I asked him.

"Fabulous" he sighed. "Some annoying old man threw up on me"

I laughed "At least I didn't"  
"Well, at least I know you. This guy was not even my patient. He came over and threw up and then mumbled something and then left again. It was very strange"

"What did you do?"

"I swore and then told the nurse to do something about him. Then I changed my clothes. Hence why I know have no tie"

"Aw, I liked your tie, with the little doggies" I teased.

"I wear that cause I'm working with the little kiddies today"

I scowled, laughing as well. How easy it was to talk to Carlisle, who wasn't my parent and knew about my condition "I'm not a little kiddie!"

He teased and pointed to my food "Eat it. I want to see if you can keep it down"

I ate my food, kept it down and then said goodbye to Carlisle, telling him to say thank you to Esme for the food.

I went home that night, to find many missed calls from Alice. Dad told me she had been bugging him to give her my mums number. But he refused. He also said that I wouldn't be home until Friday, so she said to get me to call. I went up to my room to give her a call.  
"Cullen Residence" I recognised as Carlisle's voice, answered.

"Hi Carlisle, It's Bella. Is Alice around"

"Alice, Bella's on the phone!" He shouted into his home and then I heard him chuckled "She's coming"

I heard a shriek and then someone calling my name. Then she reached the phone "Bella! Why didn't you reply my messages"

"Well, I'm at my mums. It's hard here, she misses me...so I've been stuck by her side for the most part."

"Oh, okay then" She still sounded slightly upset.

"So, what did you want?" I asked, feeling slightly dizzy. If I threw up, she might begin to be suspicious.

"Just wanted to know how you were, you left kind of sudden, and then your dad wouldn't let me talk to you. I was worried. I thought you would have told us if you were going to your mums, you could have told us during school..." she sounded upset.

"Aw Alice, It was sudden, Mum managed to get cheap flights the last minute, so she flew me up straight away"

I felt horrible lying, really horrible. I wonder if I should just tell her...  
"Okay then. Mum is telling me she needs the phone"

"Alright, I'll see you Saturday night" I said, yawning. But I felt worse than if I was just tired. My stomach started flipping around.

"Okay Bye Bella, come early Saturday, so you can help set up"

"okay" I said quickly, hanging up and throwing up into the toilet.

"Bells, you okay?" My dad asked outside the door.

"I'm fine. Just effects of chemo"

I heard him stomped downstairs.

I collapsed onto my bed and slept away the night. Silently excited about Saturdays party. But first, I had to get through the rest of the chemo aftershock.

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	6. Chapter 6

Chapter six

Saturday morning. Crap, I had nothing to wear. I'm sure if I called Alice...

"Bella, are you staying tonight at the Cullen's?" My dad asked while standing in the doorway.  
"Uh, Probably. I don't know"  
"Well, don't drink and drive" He warned.

"Firstly. I'm not even old enough to drink. And secondly, if did it wouldn't be good for my cancer. It would probably make me go backwards." I said, I sounded as if I was telling him off.

He chuckled "Just checking if you knew the rules"  
I laughed "I'll call Alice, see if I can stay. I'll leave a note saying what I'm doing"

He nodded and called his goodbye, off to work.

"Yello!" Some one yelled into the phone, I had just called Alice's home. I could hear some banging and a crash in the background.

Then the same person call out "NO ALICE! You wake up Edward and he will eat you! It's too early!"  
"Sorry. Hello?" The same person asked.

"Hi Emmett" I giggled "It's Bella"  
"Oh! Hey Bella. You want Alice?" Emmett asked.

"Bella! Bella! Bella" I could hear Alice chanting in the background.

"Hi Alice" I said, when I heard her screech into the phone. "I was wondering if I could stay the night tonight?"  
"Of course!"

"Are you going to ask your parents"

"Oh Alright! Hold on" I heard her walking, then walk some more. Then a door opened. "Mum, Dad" She whispered.

Shit, where her parents sleeping.

"What Alice" Said a very tired sounding Carlisle.

"Can Bella sleep over tonight, after the party?" Alice asked.

I didn't hear the answer but I heard Alice giggle and then close the door "They said okay"  
"Really? Cause I heard all of that and there was not okay"  
She laughed again "Alright, they mumbled something and then Dad gave me the thumbs up. Its only 9 and his day off so they both like to sleep in together. As for Edward I'm about to wake him up. Oh, and don't worry about clothes, I have a perfect outfit you can wear right here!"  
"Ah, Alice, I don't think I'll fit in your clothes" I said, worried about what she'll squeeze into.

She laughed "You'll see. Oh, and come over as soon as possible! Rose and Jasper cant get here until 5 I don't want to be alone with these oafs! Come soon!"  
Then she hung up. She hung up on me! That little...pixie!

I packed a quick bag. Making sure I had all my medication, and that my wig was on properly and would not fall off...that would be bad. And then wrote a note for Charlie, and then driving over to the Cullen's.

I knocked on the door loudly, hoping they can hear me over the loud noises and banging that was coming from the house.

A very tired, and half dressed Edward answered the door. He was wearing still wearing his pyjama pants and a as he opened the door, pulling on a t-shirt.  
I blushed when I saw his bare chest and he seemed to take a double take when he saw me "Oh, hey Bella. Come on in. Alice just managed to wake me up so I was about to get breakfast...have you eaten?"

"No, actually, I completely forgot." I admitted, feeling guilty for almost forcing him to give me food, but if I didn't eat breakfast, it would be bad for my health...not in the long term, but I wouldn't be able to make it through the night.

"That is alright" He said, grinning, taking my bag from my shoulder and dumping it onto the floor near the door. "Follow me!"

I followed through the lounge room, which had fairy lights hanging from the roof and the couches pushed against the walls, into the kitchen.  
"What'll it be then?" He asked once he was on the opposite side to the bar counter, facing me.

I shrugged "What do you have? What are you having?"

He smiled "Anything you want...I'm having fruit loops"  
I made a face "Thats just sugar"  
"Exactly! Want some?" He asked as he poured a bowl. Oh how I wish I could say yes, but I couldn't...I had a strict diet I had to keep too.

"I'll have fruit, if there is any..." I decided, sitting onto the bar stool.  
He nodded, taking a bite from his breakfast and then getting mine. There seemed to be a bowl of fruit salad all ready in the fridge. He saw my questioning look and chuckled "Alice loves fruit salad, she makes a fresh batch every few days or so"  
"She wont mind...will she?" I asked, worried as he slid a bowl in front of me.

He shook his head and ate some more.

I ate slowly, if I ate fast I'd throw up, part of chemo, even though I was almost over the side effects, they still came back every now and then. I was almost half way through when Alice bounded in. "Bella! When did you get here? What are you eating? Edward! Did you take her without telling me she's here!" She said, really quickly. Then her eyes landed on my fruit, well, her fruit that I was eating. "Your eating my fruit salad" She announced "...is it nice?"

I laughed, for a second I had been worried she would be angry, "It's really good. And I got here about 15minutes ago. I was going to find you after this, I forgot about breakfast"

Alice slid into the bar stool beside me. "So, we still have a little bit to set up, then we can just hang out for the rest of the day. It'll be cool"

The door to the kitchen swung open again, and in came Emmett, who saw me and beamed "BELSIE!"

I frowned "Belsie? What the?"

He laughed and sat down and grabbed Edwards bowl of Fruit loops.  
Edward swore, but instead of trying to get it off him, he got another bowl.

Then the door opened again and in came Esme and Carlisle, in the dressing gowns, still looking half asleep. "If you kids don't keep quiet next Sunday, you'll be banned from home for the weekends" Carlisle mumbled, then he saw me "Oh, Hey Bella! How are you?"  
I smiled "good thank you"

The rest of the morning past quickly, filled with breakfast, movies and music. By the time lunch came, I was almost exhausted and I still had the party tonight.

I escaped to the kitchen, making sure no one was there and took my pills. Just as I finished the glass of water, A voice spoke up.

"Bella?" I recognised as Alice.

I spun and saw her eyes of my medicine containers. I quickly swept them up and into my bag. "Vitamins" I told her.

She frowned and then thought for a moment. "Are you sure?"  
I nodded "Sure as daylight"

She took a side look at me, she seemed to be looking at my state. I smiled, showing her I could see her looking, so she smiled back, but it was a worried smile.

Alice's POV

I saw as Bella snuck into the kitchen. What was she up to? I followed, maybe I could help her. Sliding in through the swingy door, not wanting to scare her and make her fall over her own feet, I watched as she swallowed some pills and then drank water. I saw a doctor prescribed container on the bench. On it, had a name I was very familiar with:

_Prescribed by: Doctor Carlisle Cullen_

My father prescribed Bella medicine? What was going on.

"Bella?" I said, a slight question in my voice.

She spun around just as I moved my eyes from the containers to her face. Watching as she noticed what I was looking at and put them quickly into her bag.

"Vitamins" She announced, a slight edge to her voice. She was lying.

I frowned "Are you sure?"

She nodded "Sure as daylight"

I nodded, titling my head to the side, looking at the dark marks under eyes, the pale cheeks, the outline of her bones. She was thin, pale and tired. She was sick. I smiled when I saw she knew I was looking at her.

Bella's POV

I was sitting in Alice's spinning chair, while she worked on my hair. I was really worried she would pull the wig off, so I told her I didn't want it up. I wanted it down. So she was lightly curling it, so I was happy, but still watching her carefully.

"Your hair is a lovely colour Bella" She commented.

I hadn't realised that she would actually say that, and not until a felt a tear slide down my cheek did I realise I was crying. It was close to my real colour, but it wasn't the same. I quickly wiped the tear away and smiled at a confused Alice "Thanks"

Alice, after fixing my hair and make-up, worked on her own hair, spiking it up in different directions, and then her make-up. Then she lead me into her bedroom. She laughed as I flopped onto her bed and curled up.

"Well, I'm tired" I admitted, which was the truth.

"Bella, suck it up! And put this on!" She ordered, putting a dress next to me and then starting to strip herself.

"Ah, can I change in the bathroom?" I asked.

She nodded, so I took the dress and changed. I would have dressed in the same room, if it wasn't the bruises that still occurred from the lightest pressure, and the bruises from the needles.

The dress was amazing, midnight blue, which brought out my pale skin and instead of making me look sick, it made my skin almost Snow White pretty...almost. I still had that sunken eye look, even with the make-up.

"Amazing Bells" Alice commented coming into the bathroom.  
She had on her own red dress which flowed just to her knees, I think it is supposed to go shorter, but because she is so short already, it stopped at her knees.

She handed me some heels.

Shit. I can not walk in these, I still get dizzy sometimes and if I'm going to be dancing...no this was not good. "Alice, please... I need flats...no heels"

She sighed and opened her mouth to complain.

I covered her mouth with my hand "No, Alice. Please, flats" I insisted.

She raised her eyebrows and then huffed and skipped into her walk in wardrobe. Coming back with midnight blue flats.  
I smiled "Thank you"

We went downstairs and saw Jasper and Rose already here. It must be about 5 now. Wow the day has past quickly. "Oh Bella, you look amazing." Rose commented, and when Alice huffed she added quickly "And you too Alice"

Esme and Carlisle came in then, laughing at something. "Okay kids, you know the rules. Any disturbing noises and we come straight down. NO alcohol and no smoking or any other of those substances." Carlisle lectured "Bella, can I see you for a second, your dad just called...he wants me to tell you something" He asked.

I nodded, knowing it wasn't about my father.

Once we were in his office I sunk into the armchair. "Bella, are you alright?" He asked, worried. He placed his hand over my forehead.

Esme sat on the corner of his desk, looking worried.

"Yeah, just tired."  
"Perhaps you should go home..." Esme trailed off.

"No" I almost shouted "I have to...I want to try to be normal. Even if it means I have to do more chemo treatments than necessary"

"Bella..." Carlisle started but I cut him off.

"No, please, I've never had a normal life...This would be my first party. I really...I must...I want to"

He nodded and moved his hand which was still on my forehead.

"alright, but if you start to feel at all nauseous or the usual signs, You are to come straight up here" He ordered.

I nodded "Okay"

"Alright Bella, have fun"

I went back downstairs and had to answer there confused looks "Dad wanted to remind me 'no drugs. No alcohol and no sex'" I said laughing.

The party began to start really quickly. Soon, I was sitting in a circle, next to Alice and Edward playing truth or dare. Edward seemed to be leaning closer and closer to me, because of Lauren, who was trying to move practically onto Edwards lap.

"Okay, so Bella, truth or dare" Alice asked me.

"Truth" I said.

She smiled "Who was the first boy you kissed"

My smile left, since I hadn't really been in a school before this one, I never had a boyfriend or actual friends. So I haven't really had my first kiss yet. "Non-existent" I said quietly.

She stared at me. "Really?"  
I nodded "I was home schooled, before coming here. So it was hard to make friends...and even harder to get a boy friend and such" I explained.

She seemed to accept that and nodded for my turn. Edward's finger traced a 'M' and a 'E' on my back, where no one could see. 'Me'

I started at him and he had this pleading look in his eyes. He hadn't wanted to play this, but Alice made him. I suppose anyone could make him do something horrible, where as he trusted me. I smiled at him and gave him a small nod.

"Edward" I said, chuckling as I heard a groan from Lauren, obviously she had been wanting to ask him. "Truth or Dare?" I asked.

He held up two fingers.  
"Dare?" I checked.

He nodded.

"Okay. I dare-"  
Lauren cut me off "No fair, he can't mime things to her! He should have to talk"

Emmett defended his brother "No, he doesn't you know perfectly well he wont speak. Your lucky his playing at all. So just shut up, move over and let him breathe. Or you could leave"

Lauren huffed and shuffled 2cm away from him. Emmett nodded to me to continue

"I dare you to...go and" I didn't know what he would be comfortable with. I looked to Emmett who had his hand up and seemed to be invisibly arm wrestling someone.

I caught on quickly "Arm wrestle with Emmett!"

everyone laughed as Edward nodded.

Lauren huffed louder. I shot her a glare from behind Edward as they sat up and got ready to wrestle.

Edward griped Emmett's hand and Alice counted down "on go. 3...2...1...Go!"

The strained. I could see Emmett's muscles rippling under his skin. But Edward, who wasn't so muscle, but yet not as revealing, put his own strength behind it. They stayed in the middle for a few moments before Emmett grinned and put his full strength on and slammed Edwards hand down, a clear win.

Edward grinned, shaking his hand out.

"Alright Edward, your turn" Alice said.

Edward made a panicked look at her. She looked just as hopeless.

"No, you cannot back out now! It's your turn Edward" Lauren ordered.

I tugged on his shirt and put my mouth to his ear "Whisper to me"

He seemed less worried, but still frantic "Jasper"

I turned to Jasper "Truth or dare?"  
He smiled "Dare"

Edward turned back to me. "Kiss Emmett"

"Edward dares you to kiss Emmett, on the lips"

Emmett looks just as disgusted as Jasper did. But Jasper took it was a man, knelt up and quickly pecked Emmett on his lips. Everyone burst into laughter. Everyone except Lauren.

A few more turns and it landed onto Jessica's turn. Lauren's best friend. "Lauren, truth or dare"

Lauren grinned. This did not look good. "Dare"  
Jessica grinned equally evil "I dare you to kiss Edward"

Edwards eyes widened in fear. Lauren faked unease.

Alice, Emmett, Jasper and Rose all started arguing.

I sat next to Edward, who pleadingly looked around at them all and then locked eyes with me. "Please" He mouthed to me.

Lauren turned expectantly to Edward, who was still turned to me. She put her hand on his cheek and pulled his face to hers. But he jumped back, elbowing me in the stomach. Making me to lurch and double over in pain. But the food, the dinner I had just eaten started to rise from the impact and I jumped up and ran to the closest bathroom. Throwing up once I had slammed the door.

I heard shouting from outside, then someone run upstairs. More shouting, then someone claiming that they were going. Then silence. Except for my heavy breathing as I sat by the toilet.

"Bella?" Someone called softly. Alice.

I looked back into the toilet, then flushed and got up. "I'm alright" I said weakly.

I lifted up my dress to reveal a large bruise from Edwards elbow. Then putting the dress back in place, fixing my wig and splashing water on my face, then washing my mouth out.

I stepped out of the bathroom to see a frantic Alice. The rest of the party seemed to still be going on, behind her seemed to be some picture from a teenage magazine.

Emmett came around the corner followed by a frantic Carlisle. "Are you okay Bella?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes. I am fine" I said, weakly. "Just really tired"

He nodded. "Come see me in my office before you go to bed, I'll give you something to help you sleep.

"Alice, I think Bella should sleep now" He ordered her.

Alice nodded and hugged me tight. "Do you remember where the guest room is?" She asked.

I nodded against her, happy for the contact. "Goodnight" I said, before escaping down the hall, but just as I got to the guest room, I passed it and went into Carlisle's office, waiting for him.

"Bella" He said, startling me. "Oh, Sorry" he chuckled.

"Are you sure your okay" He asked me.  
I nodded "Yeah, I just ate too much, and stayed up too long. I'm still recovering from chemo"

he let me leave after a few other questions and I quickly went into the room, changing into pyjamas and putting my 'hair' into a pony tail. I would usually take the wig off to sleep in, but I was not taking any chances at a different person's house.

But before I went into bed, I crept down the hall and knocked at the door I knew was Edwards. No answer. No surprise.

I slowly opened the door, to let him know it was opening. "Edward, it's Bella. Can I come in?"  
I heard a noise. Not knowing what he actually said, I opened the door more and found him curled up on his bed, clutching his pillow, tears on his face.

"I said no" He mumbled.

I sighed. Knowing that when someone looks like that, they really don't want to be alone.

I walked slowly over to him, "Edward?"  
"Go Away!" He said louder. "GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY!" He screamed, starting to shake, his whole body going along in his fit.

I backed away first, but then told myself no. I crawled onto his bed and placed my hand onto his face, slowly moving it up into his hair, then back down to his chin. He continued to say 'Go Away' but he got quieter, and quieter.

Carlisle's POV

I had let Bella leave about 10minutes ago, and was just about to go downstairs to check on Alice, Edward and Emmett when I heard Edward. He hadn't had a episode in almost 2 years. But this sounded like the start of one. "GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY!" I heard him scream. I raced to his room, ready to restrain him so he didn't hurt himself or the person who had gone into his room. I had warned him to be careful about locking his door.

I went into the already open door to his room, Esme by my side. Just in time to see Bella climb onto his bed and start soothing him, slowly threading his fingers through his hair. He seemed to relax simply by her touch. This is something I have never seen before.

Esme seemed just as confused. "Carlisle?" She whispered.

I held up a finger and steped back, closing the door behind us. "He'll be alright" I told her, wrapping my arm around her. We can check on them in a few minutes.

Bella' POV

The door closed, I wonder who had been there. Oh well. I turned back to Edward, who's eyes were shut tightly. I laid down next to him, but kept stroking his face, hoping to stop his shaking, it slowed.

Suddenly, his eyes opened. And he stared at me in confusion first and fear. Then he relaxed. "Bella? Was...was that you? Before" He asked, touching my hand which I had in his hair.

I moved it to my side and sat up, going to get off his bed, but he grabbed my hand and held. "Yes" I admitted "I came in, wanting to see if you were okay. And you started to shout and cry, so then I was going to go, but then I wanted to see if I could help, so I put my hand to your face and you sort of...calmed down"

He nodded "Wow" he whispered.

"Wow?"

"Yeah. Look, I'll explain...just give me a moment"

I nodded, and went to get off the bed, but he held on tighter "Stay, but give me a moment to think" He rephrased.

I nodded again and laid back down, facing him.

His eyes were looking at me, but they didn't seem to be looking _at_ me. He seemed to be remembering something...something bad. So many emotions flashed through his face. Fear being the main one.

"Okay. I'm only going to explain this once, and I want to let you know that I have only told Esme, Carlisle, Alice and Emmett this. Alice and Emmett only know because Esme told them why I was screaming all the time." He told me. Then he breathed in a very shaky breath.

I nodded "It's okay. Edward, you can trust me" I let him know. I placed my hand back on his cheek, and he placed his hand over mine.

"Well, before I came to Carlisle and Esme, I lived in a...not so nice place. My family, Edward (senior) and Elizabeth Mason were drug addicts, and abusive to me. I don't remember being hurt when I was a baby but when I hit the age 4ish, it started. Whenever I talked, my father would kick me, punch me, throw me and scream 'shut the fuck up' or something along those lines." He explained, closing his eyes tight, curling tighter up, I left my hand on his face, only because he pushed it closer to him by his own hand. "But not only that, they ignored me days on end, they didn't feed me and they left me to clean the house. If I didn't they'd come home and beat me until I past out. But if I cried, I get hit even harder. I learnt then not to cry" He took in another shaky breath and let it out slowly. "The neighbours, they called the police once when I turned up on there doorstep, bleeding from the side and head, my father had drank badly, threw a knife at me and then a plate. Thats when I went into foster care, and that's when Carlisle and Esme found me"

I hadn't realised I was crying until Edward wiped away a tear.

"Thats...horrible" I whispered.

He nodded and moved his hand from mine and over his eyes, I didn't realise he was fighting something until a large sob got loose.

"Oh Edward" I mumbled, moving closer to him and wrapping my arms around him.

He seemed surprised for a moment, then his arms wrapped around me. He seemed to breath deeply, hugging me tightly "Thank you Bella?"  
I scooted back so I could see him "What for?"  
"For being here" He whispered. "I've never been so..open to anyone, letting them hug me is rare...i know the others do, but that is only very small amount. I mean, your in my bed, hugging me...seeing me cry! Not even Carlisle has seen me cry, I always kicked him out before that happened"

I nodded "Thank you for trusting me, with your secret" I said, but felt a pang of guilt, because I trusted him, yes, but I wasn't ready to let him know my secret...not yet.


	7. Chapter 7

**I was recently informed that cancer people were really tired and sick ALL the time, which is what I thought anyway, but because I didn't want this to be about Bella being stuck in hospital the hole way through, I decided to do it this way, it is a made up story ; ) So, any hoo...lets pretend this is all right.**

Chapter seven

"Ha, look at them, they look so cute together" Someone said quietly.

"Take a picture!" someone said...loudly.

I cringed as a bright light flashed in the room and turned to find Emmett leaning over me, with Alice behind him. I went to sit up, but something was stopping me. I leaned over and found Edwards arms around me.

I quickly checked my wig, which was still on my head thankfully. "What's going on?" I asked sleepily.

"We came to wake up Edward, and found you as well!" Alice explained.

"Oh" was my brilliant response.

Edward started moving and soon, slowly sat up. "Bella? Did you stay here?" He asked.

I nodded "Apparently"  
"Alice, Emmett?"

"We were just leaving" Alice said, winking at me before pulling Emmett out of the room.  
I giggled as Emmett complained. "Good morning" I said, after they had left.

"Good morning" he groan as he sat up. "Did last night really happen? Did I spill my troubles to you?"

I nodded, suddenly worried he might regret it.

"And your still here..." He asked, sounding more worried than me.

"Yes...why wouldn't I be"

He sighed in relief "Because you might think I'm mad. Crazy. Unstable weirdo with a bad past"

"Yes sure" I said, waving my hand "But that's what makes you you"

He stared at me before "I've never realised that before..."

I smiled and slid off the bed. "I'll see you at breakfast"

I walked, stiffly but quickly to my room and got dressed, as I was running my brush through my hair, I had that same smell. The rust and salt smell. Blood. Looking at my face I saw nothing out of place, until a small line of blood dripped from my nose. Damn! Nose bleed.  
I quickly held toilet paper against my nose as I tied up my hair. Then I went down to the kitchen, my nose bleeds are usually very lucky. They usually stop after so many minutes.

"Bella? What happened?" Emmett asked worried.

Alice turned and saw my nose bleed, raising her eyebrow. She was very suspicious now. Shit, she reminded me of my medication.  
"Nose bleed" I said, sounding funny because of the pressure. "I'll be right back, I have to go call dad, make sure he doesn't think I've died" I said, escaping to my guest room to take the pills.  
Then, I inspected my nose. It wasn't slowing, instead it was flowing faster. The blood soaking through all the first tissue, so I had to get fresh ones. I decided not to risk collapsing in front of a already suspicious Alice.

Going down the hallway and past Edwards bedroom, with the door closed, I gently knocked on Carlisle and Esme's door.

"Come in" I heard a muffled voice.

I opened the door to find Esme sleeping and Carlisle propped up with pillows, reading a book in bed. They looked so cute together. Esme was leaning against his side and Carlisle had his arm wrapped around her.

"Oh Bella, what happened' He asked once he saw me, marking the page in his book and putting it aside, motioning me to come closer.

I walked to the edge of their bed, letting him move the paper and have a look at the pace of my bleeding.

He hummed and ahhed, and then started to get up, gently moving Esme so she wouldn't be disturbed. "We should go to the hospital. It doesn't look like this will slow down any time soon" He told me, while he went and got a shirt and pants.  
I nodded, backing out of the door. "What do I tell the others?" I asked him.

He shrugged "That you are feeling sick, and that I was going to take you into work now so I can look at you"

I nodded "Alright"

I headed downstairs.

"Bella, are you alright?" Edward asked me, very concerned.  
"Yeah, just not feeling too well. Your dads going to take me to the hospital, so he can have a look at me. I'll come back on his lunch break and let you know hats wrong. And pick up my car." I explained.

Alice hadn't said anything yet. But she had a strange panicked expression.  
I went over and hugged her. Even though I've only known these people for a few weeks, they already seem extremely close to me. I suddenly felt really guilty. If I was growing close to them, they would be growing close to me...so if I didn't get better, if I...if I...died, then they would hurt too. And Edward. Who had just shared his secret, trusted me... I was going to leave him. One day, I would hurt him.

"Bella. You can trust me" Alice whispered to me. She seemed to feel my need to confine in them, to let them know what they are getting into. To let them know, that they might one day feel horrible pain. But I couldn't. I can't let them treat me differently.

"Come on Bella" Carlisle called, opening the door for me.

I went to his side, pressing the paper closer to me, and then following him to the car and then going to the hospital.

I was laying on the hospital, a drip in my arm to slow the blood. "Thanks Carlisle" I mumbled, as Carlisle came back in, taking out the drip and telling me that I was good to go.

I got up, swayed a bit, before running and throwing up in the sink.  
"Thats bound to happen. I need to be here for another hour or so, so why don't you have a walk around. I know there's a kid section that would love to meet you"  
I nodded, not really finding anything else to do "Call me and I'll meet you at your office when you can go"  
I headed in the elevator, to floor 4, the kid's department, and up to the nurses office "Hello" I said, timidly. "I'm Bella Swan, Carlisle Cullen is my doctor and my friends father, so I'm waiting until he finishes so he can take me back to his house. I was wondering if you had any kids that might like someone to talk to?"  
They seemed surprised.  
"I have cancer, so I can probably relate to those patients in particular"  
The seemed to relax, sick people they know, healthy people make them nervous. "Of course dear, follow me. I'll take you to a little girl, 6years old, who was just diagnosed the other month. She had her first chemo Monday, so she is very sick and tired"

I nodded, not remembering my _first_ chemo, because it was so long ago, but I have had many after. Many, many and many. And probably many to come.

The nurse lead me around the hall way and into a private room, decorated with butterfly stickers and light yellow wallpaper. There, in the uncomfortable hospital bed, laid a small, blonde haired girl, sunken eyes, tired and sick, She was sad, so very sad.

"Claire, honey. This is Bella. She is come to talk to you" The nurse explained, then her beeper went off and she excused herself quickly.

"Hi Claire. How are you?" I asked.

She glared at me, at my hair and then at my eyes. "Sick" She said angrily "I have cancer"  
I nodded, sitting on the edge of her bed. "I heard. I also heard you had chemo on Monday"  
"Yes. And now my hair is falling out" She said, yanking a fist full of hair out. I flinched, knowing it still must of hurt.

"Honey" I said, putting my hand on her foot. She yanked it out of the way.

"Everyone is telling me to calm down. To breathe and I will be alright! I don't want to be told that! I just want someone...who knows what is happening. Who has been through it before"  
I smiled "I have. I have Acute Cancer, and on Monday, I had my chemotherapy as well."

She softened, then got confused "Your hair?"  
I laughed and slid off the wig. "I like to fit in, you know. Makes me feel better."  
"so, how long have you had cancer?" She asked.

We continued like that, Claire asking me the questions, Answering them, then answering more questions.

My phone beeped. A text from Carlisle. He was ready and waiting at his office. He said to take my time.

"Alright Claire, well, I gotta go back home. But maybe, next time I'm in I'll check if your here" I said, smiling.

"Okay" She said happily.

I smiled and leant over and hugged her lightly, before leaving and making my way to the elevator. As I got into the elevator, and pushed ground, where most of the offices were.

But just as the doors closed, someone came running in and hitting me, causing me to stumble and fall to the floor. My wig fell off, after not being put on very well after showing Claire, and I started to get dizzy.

The girl, who bumped into me, stumbled as well, holding onto the rail for support "I am so so---Bella?" A voice I recognised very well...Alice.

Crap! My hair, my head! Alice, Alice can see...Alice can figure it out. Crap, Crap, Crap...Alice!

"Oh Bella" She whispered, kneeling down beside me. "oh Bella...Bella...Bella"

**I know its shorter than others. But i wanted to sort of fill in the inbetween from the talk with Edward, to the talk with Alice...which is comming up... IN THE NEXT CHAPTER!**

**Review, please. I love to hear your opinions. Thank you so much for all your support over the story, and let me know if i am doing something horribly wrong :)**

**If you love, let me know! If you hate, let me know!**

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Click. The. Button.

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	8. Chapter 8

Chapter eight

Alice's POV of chapter seven

My alarm woke me up, why did I set that thing again? Someone was laughing, loudly, in my room. Argh! Emmett!  
"You should see how confused you look!" He said, taking a running leap onto my bed. I bounced from the impact.

"You should see how sore you look!" I threatened. Still half asleep, so it sounded lie 'mo sould se ow sor yo lock" or something un-understandable.

He just laughed at me and ruffled my hair.

"What do you want?" I grumbled, climbing deeper under the covers.

"Oh well, I went to wake up Eddie – boy, and I found something you might like to see as well..."  
My sleepiness disappeared. If it had to do with teasing my brother, then I was in. Anything to stop the teasing being pointed to me. I got out of bed and shoed Emmett out while I quickly changed and woke up. Then we headed toward my brothers room.

Carefully opening the door, I gasped in suprise to see Bella, curled up in my brothers arms. "Ha, look at them, they look so cute together" I said quietly.

"Take a picture!" Emmett boomed. The idiot.

He already had his phone out and a photo was taken, except the flash beamed into the darkish room and Bella started to stir. She looked like she was trying to sit up but couldn't. When she opened her eyes she seemed confused about Edward, and then even more confused about us. Her hand went to her hair and then she scrunched her face in frustration "What's going on?" She asked sleepily.

"We came to wake up Edward, and found you as well" I explained, it was sort of the truth.

"Oh" She said, falling back against the bed.

Edward woke up then, and started to sit up. "Bella, did you stay here?" He asked her, not noticing us yet.

She nodded, biting her lip "Apparently"

He looked over to us and seemed confused first,a nd then pissed "Alice, Emmett?"  
"We were just leaving" I said quickly, winking at Bella. She would tell me what she had been doing after all this. I pulled Emmett out of the room.

"But Alice, I wanna stay..." He complained. I hit him and he complained louder.

Once we were out in the hall, we shut the door and made our way downstairs to the kitchen. "Breakfast!" He shouted.  
"Shh! You know mum and dads room's are just above here. Be quiet!" I scolded him. He is such a child.

I started to make breakfast when Bella came back down with bloody tissues held against her nose. What is going on.  
She seemed worried when she saw me and then said she had to call her dad and run back upstairs.

A bit after she left for her room, Edward came down and sat at the bar. "You guys, are idiots" he said. Then put his head on the counter.

"Did you drink?" I asked him. Remembering the secret stash some seniors brought with them.

He shook his head, which was still on the table. But then Bella came back down, and smiled at me slightly.

"Bella, are you alright?" He asked when he saw her nose and the bloody tissues.

"Yeah, just not feeling too well. Your dads going to take me to the hospital, so he can have a look at me. I'll come back on his lunch break and let you know what's wrong. And pick up my car" she said quickly.

What was wrong with her? It was just a nose bleed. Why would she...unless... she couldn't...she couldn't have some sort of...no...

I notice her noticing my expression and she came over and hugged me. She seemed to be thinking while she hugged me. "Bella. You can trust me" I whispered.

She seemed torn, but instead of confining in me, she turned when my father called her, and went to his side.

"She's weird" Emmett stated "but I like her"

I laughed, half heartedly.  
"I like her too" Edward said, in a almost whisper.

I finished my cereal and quickly left toward the door. "I'm going to the shops. Wanna come?" I asked the boys, who had migrated to the TV. Edward sat there, staring at this hands...deep in thought.

"No" They both said at once.

I chuckled, knowing that would be the answer. "Remember, don't wake up mum. She likes to sleep in on her weekends!"

I escaped the house and into my lovely, yellow Porch! How I loved it. Once inside, I drove toward the hospital, I had to ask dear father of mine, some questions.

"Oh, Hi Alice. What are you doing here today?" The nurse at the front desk, who knew all us Cullen's, asked me. Marie or Mary...or something with a M.

"I'm just going to see my Dad for a bit, that's alright, yeah?" I asked, as I went to walk past the desk.  
I saw her nodding, and I continued walking. Toward dads office, once there I knocked. "Come in" He said. He sounded tired.

"Alice, what are you doing here?" He asked.

"Bella" I said simply "What's wrong with her" I demanded.

He frowned "Alice, that's confidential. You know I can't tell you anything"

"Does mum know?" I asked him.

He nodded sadly.

"So how come you can tell her and not me!" I argued.

Carlisle sighed "Alice, you know its not good for you to get angry"  
"Don't tell me I can't get angry! You know that I don't like it" I said, raising my voice.

He stood, "Calm down, honey"

I took a deep breath "Do you know what. Who cares!" I said, running out of his office and into the elevator. Stupid Carlisle. Stupid emotions! Argh! I pushed the highest level and slid down to the floor. Stupid past. A small tear left my eye and ran down my face. I wiped it away.

When the elevator opened, I stayed in there and pushed level 4, not caring which one. Kid section. Thats good, maybe I'll go talk to some kiddies.

I wandered around the hall way for a bit, not really paying attention. I sat next to the vending machine when I decided I couldn't be bothered talking to anyone. Stupid memories. Why wont Bella trust me? Why can't she tell me what's wrong.

I gave up and headed back to the elevator. Just as I was reaching it I saw it start to close. I don't want to walk down the stairs, or wait for another elevator. Yep I'm lazy.  
I quickly ran into the elevator, but lost my footing and tripped, straight into the teenager who was already in it. She went falling to the ground while I grabbed onto the railing. "I am so so--- Bella?" Oh my god...is that Bella...Bald!

She didn't say anything, she just stared at me, fear and emotions falling over her face. "Oh Bella" I whispered. I knelt down to her "oh Bella...Bella...Bella"

Bella's POV

We stood in silence, in that elevator. It was probably the longest ride ever. Once the doors opened I practically ran out.

"Bella!" Alice shouted after me.

I stopped and spun around.

"I'm sorry..." She said, not knowing what was really happening.  
I almost broke down then, and let her know everything. But I couldn't not here. "I'll tell you. Everything. I promise. Just wait until I get back to your place. I'll see you there" I told her.  
She nodded and left through the door, into her Porch.

I met Carlisle at his desk, and then left in his Mercedes. I love this car, its black and cool and so, very awesome.  
Once we were back to their house. Carlisle came in and then Esme told us all to have lunch together. I sat next to Alice at their table, as we helped ourselves to pasta and salad. She shot worried glances at me. Which Edward and Emmett did not miss.

"So, whatcha going to do after lunch Bells? Going back to your place?" Emmett asked me.

"Probably, I have to cook dinner for Charlie. And I'm sure your all getting sick of me." I laughed.

Edward complained "No, you can stay as long as you want" He said.

Esme was nodding and Emmett laughed and snuck some of Edwards food onto his plate.

Alice however looked grim "She should probably leave to cook dinner. I'll go with her and help! Lets go" She said, pulling me out of my seat just as I went to take another bite.

"Alice" Carlisle scolded "Let her finish eating" Then he shot her a very pointed look.

She let go of my hand and stomped upstairs. "I'll be back in a bit" She shouted.

Carlisle shook his head sadly "She got angry today" he explained to Esme.

She nodded sadly.  
I went to ask what was wrong with her getting angry, when I reminded myself, I wouldn't like my dad telling people my problems.

Once I was finished I offered to do the dishes, But Esme told me not to be ridiculous. I then said I was going to clean my stuff up and then head home.

My bag was ready and I got it and went to Alice's room. "Ali?" I called.

She paused from brushing her hair and turned to me, "please...don't call me that" She said sadly.

I nodded "Sorry...did you still want to come?" I asked.

She smiled weakly and followed me out. We passed her mum, Carlisle had already left for work. We said our goodbyes and then I passed Edward. He pulled me aside for a moment. "We need to talk about last night..."  
"Don't worry Edward, I'll see you tomorrow. I promise. I just really need to talk to Alice" I explained.

He nodded and then quickly hugged me. "Thank you for listening" He mumbled. And then fled to his room.

I shook my head from my daze. Edward Cullen just hugged me! I do suppose, that would be less of a surprise, considering we slept together in the same bed last night.

I met up with Alice, who was already in my car and drove to Charlie's, quietly and silently.

"Alice..." I said once we were inside. She flopped onto the couch and sighed loudly.  
"Tell me what's wrong with you!" She demanded.

I sighed and sat down in the armchair. "It's hard. Only my parents and your parents know! And that's only because Carlisle is my doctor."

She nodded but didn't say anything.

I took a deep breath. Here it goes. I haven't ever told anyone this, apart from people who _had_ to know!. Come on Bella, all you have to do is tell her. Just say it. Acute Leukaemia. Acute Leukaemia. Thats all I had to say. Come on Bella, lets go. Just breathe, and speak.

I took a large breath.

"When I was six I was diagnosed with Acute Leukaemia." I said simply. Wow, that was easier than I thought. And so much relief.

She stared at me, tears running down her face. "No...but...no..." She said.

I was confused.

"Alice?"  
She startled me, throwing herself at me and hugging me. "I am so sorry Bella. I didn't know it was so serious. I thought you had something...I don't know! But Cancer. And for all these years, does this mean you can't get better?"  
I shrugged, crying as well now "I don't know..."

**Yay Alice knows! Please Review. You know you want to. :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry for taking so long to update this chapter. But Christmas came and I realised I hadn't shopped yet. And then my Grandmother had a heart attack, but she is okay, thank god. But now I am back and ready to write again. :) Hope you all had a good Christmas and if your in school, a happy holiday... AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!**

Chapter nine

I hugged Alice's pillow as she looked unfocused, taking in all I said. A small so wracked my body, if Alice felt this bad about me having cancer, imagine how different she'll treat me, how much the others will notice and how much they will hurt when they find out.

"Bella?" Alice asked me softly. Touching my arm.

I sighed and wiped my eyes. "Alice, I know I should have told you, and I probably should tell the others too...but I just cant. I want to be normal, I want to live like a normal person...as much as a normal person as I can be."  
She nodded "I kind of understand...sort of. See, even though I say I don't remember my past, I do...and I say I don't because I don't want anyone to ask me about it. The only other person who knows is Esme and Carlisle...not even Edward, or Emmett know"

"You don't have to tell me..."  
"I know, but I want to..."

I nodded in encouragement...hopefully she doesn't regret this.

"When I was little, I lived in a 'perfect' family. A mother, father and sister, that I loved. But my sister got diagnosed with cancer and unfortunately, she died. And when she died, my whole family lost their senses. My father started beating me, my mother started drugs, and they just started hating me. It wasn't until the last day I was with them did I realise why...

_**(Alice's POV, her memory)**_

"_Mary" My father shouted, slapping me across the face. My body went flying from the impact. I was 6 years old, smaller than the other children, but smarter, and sadder.  
I let out a cry as the pain shot through me. "Dad, please" I sobbed._

"_Enough! You listen to me" He cried into my face, picking up my shirt so I went to his level. "Your mother has gone down the the alley ways, buying and selling drugs. All the while I'm stuck with you. Do you know why this has happened? Do you know why Anything of this has happened?" He asked, gesturing to our broken, dirty, run down apartment._

_I shook my head, tears falling._

"_No, of course you don't. People don't realise anything that is in front of their faces. So, Mary Alice Brandon, I will tell you. You are the reason. YOU are the problem!"_

"_No, Daddy, please...It's not my fault, I'll fix it. Please" I tried to bargain._

"_You can't fix anything. Because it's your fault! It's your fault your sister died, its your fault she's dead...and your alive"  
He dropped me to the floor and stomped back to the couch, picking up his bottle of beer and sitting down.  
I stayed on the floor...its my fault? My fault my sister is dead, that she...died. But how?_

"_Because she was sick and you weren't" My father said quietly._

_Had I asked that out loud._

_Suddenly, tears filled his eyes and he became angry. "Because she was sick, and you weren't" He repeated angrily, and threw the bottle of beer at me. It hit the wall above me, shattering glass hitting me from above. I cried out in pain from the cuts, but also my heart._

_I had loved my sister, and now...now I realise, it was my fault. My fault that she is dead and I am alive, because she was sick, and I was not._

_I should be dead, not her._

…

* * *

_Deep breaths Alice, deep breaths. This is what is meant to happen, just jump Alice, you can do it. Just walk in front of that car there, or that one._

_The traffic flowed quickly in front of me. It was fast, ongoing, never stopping. A free-way. If my sister isn't alive, and I was meant to die instead of her, then I suppose the only way to fix it all..is if I was dead too._

"You jumped in front of a car?" I asked, sounding extremely loud after her soft talking. "When you were only 6?!"

She nodded sadly. "I broke both my legs, and my hips. But I didn't die, surprisingly. That is why I am really short actually, I broke one too many important things and I just stopped growing at the age of 14, or something... It was there, in hospital, Carlisle found me. Then adopted me a month later."  
Now I know her story, I feel worse. If only I had of known, how much having cancer would effect her, bring back her memories, I don't think I would have talked to her on that first day...  
"I'm sorry" I said quietly.

"Why?" She asked me, surprised.

"Because I have Cancer, I must be bringing back all these unwanted memories and feelings"

She nodded "Yeah, but I'd rather know you with Cancer, and experience these, than not know you at all"

I didn't know what to say, so instead, I leant in and hugged her tightly. "I know this sounds corny, but I need you to know, your my best friend" I whispered to her.

I felt her smiled "Your my best friend too"

* * *

After spending a day at my house, Alice went back home. Tomorrow was school and also, a day I had to face the questions of Edward and Emmett, why had I left so sudden, and why did I have to talk to Alice.

"Bella? You home?" Dad asked, banging loudly as he came inside.

I called out a reply and then went downstairs to start cooking dinner. I was humming a weird tune when he came in and asked how my night/day was.

"It was good...I told Alice that I have cancer"

He dropped the fork he was putting on the table "Really?" He asked.

I nodded, checking the garlic bread in the oven.

"Well, that's good Bells, its good that your trusting your friends"

I nodded and got out the pasta source and started serving up. Pasta and garlic bread, one of my fathers favourite combinations.

He started eating as I played around with the food on my plate. Not hungry at all.

"Bells, eat" He ordered.

I put one strand of spaghetti into my mouth, slurping it up nosily. He laughed and gestured with his hands 'more'.

After eating a bit more, I cleaned up and then went to bed after showering and taking my medication.

* * *

I woke up, cold and wet. Pulling away the covers I found my pyjamas and sheets soaked. With blood. I shook in fear. Not now, no no no, I thought chemo was making me better, not worse. My stomach shook with nauseous. I leant over the edge of my bed and threw up, blood.

"Dad?!" I called out with as much energy as I could.

No answer.

I fumbled to my phone, reaching for it, and falling off the bed. Pain seared threw my body as I dialled my fathers mobile.

"Hi you've reached Charlie Swan, sorry I couldn't reach my phone, please leave your name -" I hung up.

Fucking shit!

I dialled the three numbers that would hopefully help me live. 000 "What is your emergency" The lady asked me.

"I have acute cancer, I'm bleeding. I really need to get to the hospital but I can't move. Please send an ambulance"  
"Hold on" She said.

Bloody hell. How the fuck do I hold on while my nose and eyes have started to bleed. My head spun, too much blood loss. Too much time wasted.

"A ambulance will be at your house in 20minutes. Please wait calmly"

Shitty emergency people. Don't they realise I'll be dead by then. "I'll call my friend. I need to hospital now" I said angrily and hung up.  
Who to call...who to call... who to call... Alice

I dialled her number and a small whisper answered "Bella? Why arn't you at school. Its 9.30"  
My vision was blacking out. I didn't have much time. "Need. Help. Home. Now" I managed to get out before dropping the phone and falling further to the ground. Further into blackness.

**I know that the emergency services wouldn't act like that. But its my story, so they can :)**

**I don't know what the symptoms of Cancer is. Or what happens when they begin to get worse. Please forgive me if I get it all wrong, I'm making it up. I know I've said it before, but I'm just reminding you. ;)**

**Thanks for reading. And remember, reviews make me happy.**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter ten

Edwards POV

I woke up, another day, another feeling. Bella. She has been on my mind since Sunday morning, when I woke up with her in my arms. How could she have liked me enough to stay with me before and after I told her what was wrong with me. At least, I think she's still my friend. She's been a bit...off... I haven't spoken to her properly since Saturday night, and that was when I was telling her my story. I wonder if I scared her off.

* * *

I got into Emmett's car as Alice came running into the garage "Sorry I'm late" She said hurriedly.

"Its okay" Emmett said, loudly. I winced, why is he so loud.

I leant around the seat, looking at Alice as she fluffed her hair in the mirror. "Why are you so...flustered?" I asked.

She blushed "Over slept" She mumbled.

I frowned "You've never overslept"

She poked her tongue out at me and then turned to put her make up on. "I was distracted, okay. Bad dream, woke up late, got ready late, made it to the car late. The end" She explained.

I nodded, knowing she didn't want to dive into deeper details.

We made it to school and we all looked for Rose, Jasper or Bella, she had become one of our friends now, and was considered apart of the group. Even though we hadn't said anything yet. Jasper and Rose came soon, but Bella stayed absent.

The bell rang and I become worried, ever since Bella came, the school didn't look so daunting. But Bella was away today...so it looked just as evil as all the other times.

I stayed at Alice's side as we made our way to a classroom, we had a free period this morning together so we made our way to the library.

We opened our books and began our 'silent work'. But only half an hour into the class, Alice opened her phone and whispered into it. "Bella? Why aren't you in school. It's 9.30"

There was a small pause, where Alice gasped. And then shut the phone quickly. She grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the library. Everyone looking at us as we sprinted out of the school and toward another building. She paused outside and knocked on the door. "Excuse me, may I speak to Emmett for a second" she asked politely. How she knew Emmett was in there, was a mystery to me.

In less than a minute, Emmett appeared. "What's wrong?" He asked, eyeing me, and then Alice.

"I need your keys, Bella's sick, we need to take her to the hospital." She told him.

He started for his car, I stayed standing. Bella's sick? No, No, No, She can't leave. I wont let her. I _**Need **_her.  
"No, Emmett. Stay here, trust me, she's not ready to tell you what's wrong, but I need someone to help, and I think she's closer to trusted Edward than you. No offence" She added quickly.

He mumbled something, gave me the keys and went back into class. Telling me to call him as soon as I could.

Then we ran to the car again. It had been less than 5 minutes since the phone call. Would she still be okay?

I drove Emmett's Jeep, quickly and over the speed limit, to Bella's house. Once there, we ran to the door. Locked.

I began to bang on it as Alice felt for a spare key. Once we got it open, half my banging, half her finding the key.

We raced upstairs to Bella's room and I almost threw up. Blood covered her bed and then what she was wearing.

But her face stood out amongst the vivid red of the blood. Her face contorted in fear and worry. She seemed different, and it was only for a brief second did my mind register the fact that she was bald, her brown hair was gone...

Alice faced me. "Do not freak! We need to act. Get some blankets" She ordered.

I stood frozen for a moment. Bella, unconscious. Bella dead?

A sharp slap woke me. "Go" Alice said angrily.

Did she just slap me? Ugh, blankets! I quickly got some from her fathers bed, not knowing where there kept and ran back to the room. Alice had managed to wake her up a bit, but Bella's eyes were unfocused.

I wrapped her up, with help from Alice, and then picked her up and carried her downstairs and into the Jeep.

Alice climbed into the back with her, nursing her head as I drove off to the hospital.

"Edward, I'm sorry" Bella chocked.  
Alice shushed her quickly and stroked her blood soaked face.

I made it to the hospital in record time. And then quickly got Bella from Alice and carried her inside. "Find dad" I ordered to Alice, who ran off toward his office.

People ran in all directions, getting a stretcher, sticking needles in her, taking her out of my arms. Then dad came in and started calling orders, to fix the running mess. Suddenly, Bella, who had been in my arms, and then in the stretcher in front of me, suddenly was whisked away into the folding doors.

I started to shake. Alice next to me, started to cry. We weren't ready for this, I know Alice had a bad past, and I don't think this was helping. And me... I lost faith in everyone. In humanity, from my parents abuse. I had grown to trust the Cullen's, Alice and Emmett, but Bella, she was the one to show me that people could actually care for someone, even though she didn't know my past, or why I was being distant, she still wanted to know me... help me.

Someone came in to our view. "Alice, Edward, your father told me to take you to his office" A lady told us.

She led us, silently, to his office where she left us alone. I collapsed into his desk chair. And Alice fell onto the couch. "Fucking hell, this is messed" I swore.

She let out a sob and then clutched the pillow to her chest. I crawled over to my sister and pulled her toward me. She let go of the couch and then wrapped her arm around my chest.

"Edward" She sobbed. "My sister died of cancer! And now Bella's going to die of Cancer! And everyone I meet dies!" She cried.

Wait what?! "Alice?" I asked in a whisper "Please explain better"  
She quickly told me about her past, that her parents blamed her for her sisters death from cancer, and because of what happened, 6 year old Alice, tried to commit suicide.

Thats messed up.

I hugged her tighter "It's not your fault" I said in a urgent voice, hoping that a voice of someone she trust will keep her from worrying. "It's not your fault"

She nodded and buried her face in my chest.

"Guys?" Someone said quietly, making Alice pull away.  
Carlisle stood at the doorway, blood on his coat. He came in and shook it off, putting it on his seat and then sitting in front of us, on the floor. We must have looked funny. Alice leaning against me, who was leaning against the chair for support, sitting on the floor, and then Carlisle, a grown man, sitting cross legged in front of us.

"Bella has gotten worse. Chemo didn't agree with her and although she seemed fine the last few days, was probably hiding it. I can't discuss options with you, cause it wouldn't be right, but I'll let you know what she chooses." He said in his 'doctors' voice.

"Cancer?" I whispered.

Alice frowned and then realisation dawned her face "He doesn't know" She said.

Carlisle nodded "I'm not the person to explain it to you. Bella needs tell you. She's awake now, if you want to go in?" He said.

I nodded. "Have you told chief Swan?" I asked.

Carlisle sighed "I can't reach him, I was just about to try again" He said, going toward his phone. I stood, going for the room, but then paused and looked back and Carlisle, he smiled weakly "Bella is in room 16" He told me.

I went to her room and knocked on the half closed door. "Come in" Said a ladies voice. She was not Bella.

A nurse stood over Bella, cleaning her face. Bella had a look that said 'please leave' at the lady but when she saw me, she smiled weakly.

"Oh, hello Edward, Dr. Cullen just went to his office" She said, continuing to clean Bella, as if she was a baby. I would be very annoyed, if that had to happen.

I nodded, unsure of what to say. Her presence was not as frightening because Bella was here, but she was still unsettling. Even though I knew there was nothing to worry about.

"Kayla? Edward is here to see me" Bella said quietly. Her throat scratchy. Trying to help _me_, even though _she _was the one who needed help.  
Kayla, the nurse, nodded. "I just have to finish cleaning..."  
But Bella cut her off "He can do that"  
Wait, what can I do?  
"If your sure..."  
Bella nodded and the nurse left, giving me the bowl and clothes. I sighed and sat next to her, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"You don't have to-" She began but I shook my head.

I carefully put the cloth to her head, wiping the dried blood and then dipping it back into the bowl. I cleaned her face and head and neck in silence. Then when that was done, put the bowl beside me.

She let out a shaky laugh before leaning back into her pillow.

"I'm sorry" She said, looking me in the eyes. Tears falling, they had a slight pinkish tinge to them. She saw my panic and wiped them away, looking at the colour. "Don't worry about it. I bleed from every part that can escape my body...don't think about that too much" She laughed weakly.

"Why are you sorry?" I whispered, knowing there was a buzzing hospital just outside that open door.

She coughed quietly and then put her hand to mine and squeezed. It was a small squeeze, barely noticeable, no energy in her at all. "I'm sorry all this happened, before we had a chance to talk. I didn't want you to think I was leaving you... or upset with you. Because I wasn't, I could never be. Always remember that, I'm not upset with you"

I nodded, wiping at my tear. I barely cried before meeting her, and now she makes me cry so much.

"What's wrong with you?" I chocked out.

Seeing her like this, so tired, grey, pale and fragile. She looked so vulnerable with no hair or hat to cover her head. She looked... worn out... sick and little. She looked like death.

"I have acute Leukaemia. Have had it since I was 6. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I didn't want you to treat me differently, but I guess that's impossible now. I understand if you don't want to be friends, save you the heart ache if I ever... if I you know... die"  
Die. Dead. Dying. Death. Bella. Dead. The room spun but her face made me focus. She thought I didn't want to be friends? She's stupid.

"Bella, don't ever think that. I will always want to be friends with you. You have made me feel so much, more than I have ever felt to anyone. The moment I see you, you make me smile, the moment you touch me, you make me shiver. I trust you enough to tell you my deep dark secret, to trust you enough to speak to you. I haven't spoken this much to someone in all my life. You made me real and you made me live"  
I froze, she made me live... she made me come alive. She was my life, she was my living and now... I realised what all these thoughts and feelings added up to. I was in love with her. I loved Bella Swan. "And I love you"

I small gasp left her lips, but I didn't give her a chance to say anything. Instead, I leant forward, gazing straight into her deep brown eyes. All they held was love as well, and that was when I knew what I was going to do was the right thing. She trusted me, I trusted her.

"I love you too" She whispered, her breath fanning across my face.

She loved me! She loved me, I loved her....

I leant down further and pushed my lips against hers. She

was weak, I could tell, she was tired and sick. I could taste the medicine, and blood. But I could also taste her. She tasted... like Bella.

She weakly kissed me back, with what was properly, all her energy. When she parted her lips, I moved away, knowing that she didn't have enough strength to even breath properly.

She smiled at me before closing her eyes. "I love you" She whispered again.

I sat back down into a seat beside her and smiled. But my feelings and thoughts were quickly cut off when I heard someone clear there throat by the door. I turned and saw Charlie Swan, chief of police in Forks, father of Isabella Swan. The girl I just confessed my love to and kissed, while she was in hospital, and probably right in front of him.

"Edward? Edward Cullen?" He asked, angry as hell.

I nodded, shrinking back against the chair.

"What do you think you were doing to my girl!? And while she was in hospital?! What on earth?!" He screamed.

No, please stop. Stop the shouting. Anger.. stop the anger.

"How dare you. Speak Boy, say something!" chief Swan ordered me.

I closed my eyes tight. And started rocking back and forth. Please just leave me alone. Please.

"Are you okay?" He asked me, his voice still angry. "If this is a distraction to stop me from stopping you seeing Bella, then you can stop. Because panic attack or no panic attack, you wont be speaking/seeing or anything to my Bella again"  
No no no NO! I need Bella! I need her I can't live, I can't breathe without her!

**Oh no! Edward knows!!! and they love each other (hadn't seen that one coming up so quickly...don't worry, I didn't know that either. But it seemed like the right time ;)) But Charlie knows about it all! And is telling Edward he can't see Bella any more. What will happen? And once again, these symptoms and such, are not real!**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter eleven

Bella's POV (Starting from after she calls Alice for help)

_Who to call...who to call... who to call... Alice_

_I dialled her number and a small whisper answered "Bella? Why aren't you at school. Its 9.30"  
My vision was blacking out. I didn't have much time. "Need. Help. Home. Now" I managed to get out before dropping the phone and falling further to the ground. Further into blackness._

* * *

Voices, lots of them, started filling my ears. Something rolling. I was lying down, it was soft but hard. "We need a transfusion. Someone find me some blood" I heard a voice I recognised call the crazy-ness to order.

Carlisle. Carlisle was here. That was good. That meant I was in the hospital... means I was safe.

"Carlisle?" I whispered.

"I'm here Bella. It's okay. Alice and Edward found you, your in the hospital" He told me.

Alice came. And wait, what? Edward came too....that mean, he saw me... "Edward?" I asked.

"He's shaken up, but okay. I'll send him in when your awake. You can sleep now Bella. I'll call your dad"

I nodded and drifted off to sleep. Not needing to close my eyes because I didn't even open them.

* * *

"Oh dear, yep your right. This is the worst case I've seen. I saw her come in this morning, she was covered, head to toe in blood. But she was still hanging in there. She's a little trooper" someone was talking. Argh, can't they shut up?

" I heard she had a few transfusions. She's a rare blood type. She's very lucky we found someone to donate"

"No, I heard that Esme Cullen donated some blood, she came when Dr. Cullen called her, apparently this girl is there kids friends."

I wanted to try and tell them to shut up, but my mouth was heavy. Actually my whole body was heavy. I pried open my eyes, to only shut them quickly due to the brightness of the light. I lifted my hands up and rubbed them, and then opened them again.

"Excuse me?" I tried to say, but instead, I coughed up phlegm. ew.

The lady helped me sit up, I had been partially cleaned, I tried not to think about that and how I got cleaned. One of the ladies left while the other started to clean the dried blood off my face and head. "What happened?" I asked.

She started to explain how my body refused the chemo treatment and then paused and said that Carlisle would be better at explaining it. So she went off to find him.

Less than 10, boring, painful minutes passed and Carlisle came in. "Bella, I'm glad to see you awake. Now, Kayla has told me-"  
"Kayla?" I asked.

"Kayla, the nurse, has told what she told you and let me explain. You know how chemo helps your body make up for what it can't produce?"  
I nodded

"Well, this time, it failed. So your body is failing because of the lack of that substance." He explained, sounding very morbid.

"So... I'm dying?" I asked, tears falling. "Can't we try chemo again? Or clean my blood, or a blood transfusion or... or... one of the marrow things or something! Anything!"

He sighed "We can try chemo again, yes. But I can't assure you that it will work..."

I nodded "Wait until Dad gets here. Can you call him?"  
"I have, but he was away, so I'll just go and try again. Oh, and I'm sure Edward would like a explanation..."

I nodded, closing my eyes.

The nurse, Kayla came back in and started cleaning me again. I wish she would leave. It was really embarrassing. I can clean my face.

Someone knocked on my door and Kayla answered for me. "Come in"

I peered up at the nurse and her happy cheery voice and sneered at her. Hoping that she would leave just because of my expression.

"Oh, hello Edward, Dr. Cullen just went to his office" She said, I looked around her and found Edward, staring wide eyed, slightly afraid, at me and the nurse. He nodded, even though she couldn't see him.  
"Kayla? Edward is here to see me" I said, quietly.

She nodded "I just have to finish cleaning..."  
Excellent, a way to get her away "He can do that"

I saw his startled expression and surprised a laugh.

"If your sure..." She began

I nodded and then she finally left. Thank fully.

He sat on the edge of my bed, and picked took the bowl and cloth in his hands.  
"You don't have to.." I started to say but he shook his head and started to clean my face, head and neck. He didn't say a word.

With the nurse, this felt weird and uncomfortable. But with Edward, it felt...not normal or comfortable, but okay. As if I trusted him enough to let him see me this weak and this vulnerable.

He was finally done and I leaned back against the pillows.

How could I let him in like this, why would I let him see that I cared for him, and then let him trust me, to confine in me. And now I'm going to hurt him like this... I feel so selfish. "I'm sorry" I said to him, looking into his green eyes, his deep, deep green eyes. I felt tears slide down my cheek and he looked slightly worried. I wiped them and looked. Tinged with blood... or something.

"Don't worry about it. I bleed from every part that can escape my body..." Wow, that sounds weird, if he thinks about that he might realise that I have to wear a nappy because of the fact that I bleed...alright, I'm going to stop thinking... "Don't think about that too much" I laughed weakly.

"Why are you sorry?" He asked, whispering, saying the first words since he got here. He must be anxious about the people outside.

Why am I sorry, thats a really good question. But I am mostly sorry because he is brought into all of this, that he is now apart of my illness and will probably suffer some form of hurt along the way. I coughed, trying to hide a sob that was building and then held his hand and squeezed, trying to show him that I was still here, still real. But I don't know if I was telling myself that, or if I was trying to comfort him... "I'm sorry all this happened, before we had a chance to talk. I didn't want you to think I was laeving you... or upset with you. Because I wasn't, I could never be. Always remember that, I'm not upset with you"

He nodded and wiped away a fallen tear. I make him cry too much. "Whats wrong with you?" He asked, he also seemed to look at me, really look at me, and he seemed afraid.

"I have acute luekemia. Have had it since I was 6. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I dind't want you to treat me differently, but I guess that's impossible now. I understand if you don't want to be friends, save you the heart ache if I ever... if I you know... die" I've never been unable to say that I might die, but actually thinking about it, and thinking that I could possibly die before I was the age 20, scared me badly. I shook at night after certain dreams... It is horryfing.

He seemed to have a internal battle and then his eyes focused on my face. "Bella, don't ever think that. I will always want to be friends with you. You have made me feel so much, more than I have ever felt to anyone. The moment I see you, you make me smile, the moment you touch me, you make me shiver. I trust you enough to tell you my deep dark secret, to trust you enough to speak to you, I haven't spoken this much to someone in all my life. You made me real and you made me live"

He paused for a moment while he thought about something and then he smiled, the smile reaching his eyes. "And I love you"

I love you. I love you. He loves me?! But did I love him. He was always on my mind, from the moment I saw him, I panicked when he was scared and I had never felt so comfortable with anyone else. Of course I loved him... "I love you too"  
He smiled and then leant down further and kiss me. I kissed back, with all the energy I had. "I love you" I whispered again and then closed my eyes. I quickly fell asleep.

"No no no NO! I need Bella" I heard Edward cry. He seemed panicked. Why is he upset? Who was taking me away?  
I opened my eyes, after some battle with my mind about going back to sleep. Dad stood at the door, clearly upset and angry. Edward sat in the chair, eyes shut tight, hands pulling at his hair, rocking back and forth.  
I sat up and groaned in pain, reaching over and touching his face "What did you do to him?" I asked dad, fear laced in my voice.

"Nothing... I did nothing, I just talk to him..." He stuttered.

I shook my head "Leave for five minutes, please Dad, I need to help him. I'll explain in a moment"  
My father nodded and left the room.

I climbed/fell out of my bed, holding onto the rail for support and knelt in front of Edward.

"Edward, open your eyes...its me, Bella. Where alone"

He slowly stopped shaking as I smoothed out his hair, whispering to him. Then, he moved his hands from his hair. His lips open and closed over and over.

I put my ear to his mouth and heard what he was saying "Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella" he was whispering.

I moved closer and placed my mouth over his, kissing him. Pushing as much love and comfort as I could.

He stopped calling my name and froze, slowly opening his eyes. He saw me and I moved away, "Are you okay?" I asked.

He nodded and then pulled me close against him, hugging me. "Please don't leave me" He pleaded "Your father said he was taking you away. Don't leave me Bella. I need you" I felt tears on my head. "Please don't leave..."

I sighed. "Edward..." This was a promise I could not keep... and I knew that he knew it as well.  
"No, Please, promise me. I can't live without you"  
I felt him starting to shake again. "Edward, I promise... I won't leave you" Only, I wont choose to leave you. Other forces might stand in the way.

* * *

Once I was sitting back in the bed, I called in my father. Who came in, embarrassed about the way he made Edward act. Edward was sitting next to me, in his chair, scooted over as close as he could get. I could sense that he was scared of my father, probably scared that he might hit him.

"Dad, now, before you speak. Please, just stay calm, for both of your sakes" I warned him, glancing at Edward who was rubbing his hands together and bouncing his knee up and down.

"Alright Bells, I'm sorry Edward, I didn't mean to scare you, Carlisle told me that you had a problem trusting people, and I'm sorry I might have made that worse for you"

Edward looked shocked at the apology but nodded quickly, glancing at me for reassurance. I nodded calmly.

Charlie seemed to have gotten over the whole, Edward kissed his baby, but I'm sure he was going to give me a 'talk' once Edward was gone. But for now, his fear and shock of finding out I had been put into hospital surfaced. "Bella, how are you?" Worry in his voice.

"I'm okay... I've been better" I took a deep breath, the question I had been dreading "Did you tell mum?"  
He nodded "She was a handful... but yes. I told her and she's coming here, tomorrow"  
I smiled, expecting that. "Dad, about Edward, please...don't make me stop seeing him. It's not good... for either of us"

"I'll think about it. I need to go fill out papers, Edward can you-"  
"He's fine with me" I said, knowing he was about to ask him to leave.

He looked like he was going to object but I just waved him off "You can leave the door open. I don't have any energy to do anything you would oppose."  
Once Charlie had finally left I sighed and let my strong sense falter. Edward jumped up as I coughed and laid down, closing my eyes. "Are you okay?" He asked me, his hands hovering over me, not knowing what to do.

"Yeah, I'm just really...sick...I'm not sure how bad I am, but Charlie is very emotional, I didn't want to make this worse for him"

Edward nodded in sympathy and put his hand on my face "Sleep Bella, I'll stay here"

I nodded and turned and kissed his hand, closing my eyes and falling asleep. I was just about to drift further into deep blackness when I heard him mumbled

"_I'll stay here if you stay here"_

* * *

"_Bella, you promised, you promised you wouldn't leave me..." I heard Edward cry._

_Edward was crying, I could see him standing over me, tears poring down his face. I tried to get up, hug him, to hold him and comfort him. But I couldn't my whole body was too heavy, I could barely even breathe._

_He took one more look at me and then started walking away. "Edward, where are you going?" I whispered, my voice cracking._

"_I said I'd stay, if you'd stay. But since your leaving me, I'll leave you too"  
But, wait. "Edward, please. Don't go... I... Please I didn't mean it! I love you Edward, please don't go" I cried, tears falling._

"Bella, Bella wake up honey" Someone said, while I felt hands hold me down.

I opened my eyes to find Carlisle, tired looking and dishevelled. He held my shoulders down. "Are you okay?"  
I frowned "Yes..."  
"You were having a nightmare" He explained.

I nodded. That much I knew.

"Alright guys, she's okay now." Carlisle told them, once they left, he collapsed into the chair. "Sorry Bells, I just need a moment"  
I frowned, why did he look so...un-organised?

"It's been a long day" He said, I knew he didn't want to clarify. "Alice will tell you about it, she had a... meltdown, so to speak."  
"No! Is she okay? I have to go see her" I said, worried. This was my fault. I sat up and then immediately leant over and threw up onto the floor.  
I heard Carlisle sigh and call for some nurses. "I'll take you to her once your cleaned up"

The nurses cleaned me and the room up and then helped me into the wheelchair. Apparently it was about 7am in the morning, I hadn't even noticed the time. Carlisle informed me Edward had been made to leave to go home and get some rest. He told me that Edward would be back after school today.

Carlisle wheeled me into Alice's room, who laid on a bed, her wrists tied to the rails, staring at the wall in front of her. "She kept trying to hurt herself" Carlisle told me queitly, he sounded extremely sad.

He wheeled me next to her bed and then left and closed the door. Knowing I wouldn't hurt her he smiled and said goodbye. Alice hadn't said a word, hadn't moved a inch and hadn't even realised I was here.

"Alice?" I asked, trying to snap her out of this very weird state.

She blinked when she heard my voice and then tears started falling. "Bella's sick. She's going to die." She mumbled, still not really noticing I was there.  
"Alice, it is me. I am not dying. Calm down, please. Please Alice look at me?"

She moved a tiny bit, and caught site of my legs. "Bella?" She whispered, turning the whole way around. "Bella?! Your alive?!" She cried, almost falling of the bed while she tried to hug me.

I sighed and stood up, shakily and climbed onto her bed. "Oh Alice, I'm fine. I'm so sorry I scared you"

I moved the tubes from my arm out of the way and then wrapped my arms around her, she rested her head on my chest and started to cry. "I was so scared, I kept having strange flash backs, from my sister dying. And I felt that your dad was going to blame me and everyone was pointing there finger at me cause they kept asking me all these questions 'how did you find her' 'when did you find her' 'was there a lot of blood' and Carlisle wasn't there to tell them to be quiet so I started freaking out and then they had to call Carlisle cause I was screaming and everything. They had to sedate me and then, I guess, tie me to the bed, but I don't remember any more of it."

I pulled her closer. "Its okay Alice, everything will be okay. Your going to get better again and then get out of here, not tied to the bed. And then I'm going to get better and then go home and everything will be back to normal."  
She stared at me strangely "You hope" She corrected.

I nodded, letting one tear fall "I do hope"


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter twelve

It had been three days since my blood loss event. And today, I was heading in to have chemo, to see if, hopefully my body does not regret it. If it does, I have to face other, more life threatening scenarios and possibilities. I was scared, secretly, but I wasn't going to bring that up and scare everyone else more.

My mother had been down for two days now, she was staying in my room at Charlie's, that must have been uncomfortable for her.

I was being wheeled, in my bed, toward the chemo room, Carlisle promised he would supervise. He stopped me in the hallway, where my father, mother, Esme, Alice, Emmett, Rose, Jasper stood. Edward stood against the wall looking, terrified.

"Bella, we'll be waiting right outside" my mother said, trying to comfort me. But she wasn't, I wasn't scared about Chemo, I was worried about its effect, would it make me better or worse. I was also more worried about Edward, will he be okay? "I love you honey" my mum said, kissing my head.  
I smiled and kissed her back "I love you too mum"  
Charlie seemed awkward standing there, next to mum while she said she loved me. She moved out of the way to let Charlie say his thing. He made a funny face, just like he used to when I was little. I laughed and opened my arms and he gave me a hug "I love you Charlie" I whispered, knowing he doesn't like showing emotion.  
"I love you more Bells, more than anything in this world" He said.

They both took off after that, probably not able to stay any more or they might not have let me go in. There strange sometimes... very strange.

"Bella, be safe honey, I have to go but I wanted to wish you good luck" Esme said, kissing my cheek "Come visit us for dinner when you get out of here" She said.

I nodded "I would love to"

"Bella, Edward told us, I hope you don't mind..." Emmett said, nodding to Jasper and Rose.  
I smiled "I know, I told him to, sorry I didn't tell you earlier, but I wanted to -"  
"Live a normal life, I know Bells" Rose said, smiling "It's okay though, I would have done the same thing.

"Thanks, that means a lot" I hugged all three of them and then Alice was revealed once they left down the hall.

"Remember what you said, I'd get better, go home and then you'd get better and go home too?"  
I nodded

"Well, just don't forget that... Cause I'm better, so you have to get better too" She ordered.

"Okay Alice" I said, hugging her tightly. "I'll see you soon"  
I heard her sniff and then run toward where Jasper waited.  
Then there was one.

Edward. He was still leaning against the wall, He saw he was the last one and came over and kissed me. It wasn't a soft peck, it was a passionate, this-may-be-our-last-kiss type of kiss. Then he released me and I was left breathing heavily. I saw fear, pain, hope, loss and love in his eyes, his green pools of emotions. "I love you" He whispered, "Come back to me" Then, he sprinted down the hall and into Carlisle's office.

I was left, confused, puzzled, worried and scared.  
"Come on Bella, lets get you set up" Carlisle mumbled, pushing my bed toward the elevator.

"So, how are you feeling?" He asked me, as we rode the elevator up.

"Tired" I said, knowing he wouldn't take my false feeling of 'I'm fine'. "And sore, tired and sore, that pretty much sums it up"  
He chuckled "That's about right, hopefully, I can make you better"  
I nodded "Hopefully"

I was throwing up when my father and mother came into my hospital room. Throwing up was a main side effect of chemo. "Oh Bella" My mum hushed, coming over to help me. I waved her away with my hand as I hid my face into the bucket once more.

My father took it once I had finished and my mum helped me wash my mouth and then lay back down.  
My parents stayed a few more hours and then left to go back home. So I was left alone, but not for long.

"Bellsie!" I heard Emmett boom.

How the hell did they get in here? It was past visiting hours!

"Emmett" I groaned, as he came running into the room. Ugh, moves too fast, makes me dizzy. Where is Carlisle?!

"Emmett, I said to ease her in! Your not even aloud in, so please...calm down," I heard Carlisle scold, following his son in.  
Behind Carlisle was Jasper and Alice, Jasper waved silently while Alice smiled and kissed my cheek.

Then, Rose came in, handing me a big bouquet of flowers. "Thanks Rose" I croaked, my voice breaking from soreness.

Then, finally came Edward, who seemed to relax once he saw me. "Hi" I whispered as he came over.

"Hi"

We stared at each other before he leaned down to kiss me. I turned my head and he looked at my puzzled. "I've been throwing up, I'll taste horrible"  
He chucked and kissed me lightly on the lips, despite my attempt to move from him.

Carlisle warned them all to keep quiet, and if they did, they could all spend a few hours here. I guess, having connections in the hospital were good, in times like this.

They began to set up while I watched with amusement. Emmett set up a TV, he had actually brought in a TV, but I recognised it from Carlisle's office, so it wasn't as big of a deal, the others brought in some chairs and pillows and Alice made me pick a movie. I chose a comedy, no people dying in a comedy.

Emmett and Rose cuddled into the couch under my window, Alice and Jasper sat in the chairs and Edward stood awkwardly, about to sit down in the left over, straight back hard chair.

I giggled and moved up, so he could sit in behind me. "Come on Edward" I encouraged.

He obliqued and sat behind me, and I snuggled into his chest and pulled the blanket up over both of us, I felt very safe in his arms. Unfortunately, the nicest feeling in the world, being with Edward, was overcome with the ugliest feeling, being sick. I fumbled to get up and reach for the bucket, Edward got it for me and held it in front of me as I threw up into it. "Please" I chocked out in between parts "Leave" I said, embarrassed that they all were aware of me throwing up.  
Alice huffed "Don't be a baby" She laughed and handed me a glass of water once I was finished. Then, she took the bucket and rinsed it out for me.  
"Thank you" I said, blushing and laying back against Edward. Once we were all comfortable, Emmett brought out the snacks. I laughed and politely Refused any offered, saying they don't look as tempting when brought out a second time.

Then, finally the lights were turned off and the movie on.

* * *

Half way threw, Carlisle came in and made us pause the movie so he could check on me. It was about 8pm so I was getting pretty tired and he warned that I should probably go to sleep soon.

Once he left we started up the movie again, but everyone was a bit louder than last time.  
"So, anyway, I was walking down the hall, to get some coke" Alice said, laughing in between words "And this guy, obviously from the cancer ward, because of his baldness, asked me if I was an angle come to take him away. When I said no I wasn't, he asked me if I was sure because 'I was too beautiful to be a human'" She cracked up laughing along with everyone else. I laughed, but quietly, because if I had of blown out on a full blasted laugh, I'd probably collapse, and Carlisle would probably ban these gatherings if that happened.

"That was probably Julian, he's kinda of like a Mike, trying to hard. He's asked me out about, 6 times and even when I tell him I'm taken, he doesn't give up" I turned to Edward "Maybe if you go and threaten him..."  
Edward laughed "I'd probably go up to him, then run away" He admitted jokingly, but I could see the hidden pain. I wonder why?

We began to pay attention back to the movie. I pulled Edwards arms around me and turned on my side, closing my eyes. I felt happy here, with my friends. "Thank you guys" I mumbled.

"Why?" I recognised as Jasper, asked.  
"For trying to include me, despite the fact that I'm stuck in the hospital" I explained.

I felt Edward kiss my head "Sleep my love, I will wake you when where all leaving"

I nodded and drifted off quickly in Edwards arms, dreaming of nothing.

* * *

"Bella, Where going, You need to get up so I can get out" Edward said.

I blindly moved forward, complying with his orders. When he left, he laid me back down on the bed.

"By Bella" Alice said, kissing my cheek, Rose followed suit and then Jasper did too, surprising me with a small peck on the forehead.  
Emmett however, decided a giant hug will make me better and when I started saying he was going to make me throw up, he quickly retreated to the door, saying a hasty goodbye and dragging Rose with him.

"Come on Edward, we gotta go" Alice told her brother.

Edward came over and I opened my eyes. Wait, I don't want Edward to leave!  
"Bye Bella, I'll see you tomorrow after school" He said, kissing me lightly on the lips.

"No" I whined "Stay, please?"  
He seemed dawned. "Alice, wait outside please" She nodded and said one goodbye and left, closing the door softly.

"I can't, I haven't slept anywhere in a very long time except at home..."  
"But I'll be here. Please Edward, I don't want to be alone" I pleaded, the drugs making me have no sense. If I had of been sane, I would have let him leave.

He seemed torn and then sighed "I'll go see what Carlisle thinks" He told me before leaving.

I rested while he went and spoke to Carlisle and when he came back, he had another pillow in his arms. "Scoot over" He ordered me, pulling off his shoes.

He had changed into a pair of sweat pants. "Where did you get them?" I asked, eyeing the comfortable fabric, he was wearing jeans before!

"Dad, he had spare clothes, he is a doctor" He explained.

I moved over and opened the blankets for him. He climbed in and pulled me against him. "Don't fall out" He warned me.

I laughed but that was taken over by a yawn. "Edward, why were you upset before?" I asked him.

"I wasn't upset" He said, confused.

"No, when I told everyone about the Mike-twin, Julian. And I asked you to go threaten him"  
He sighed, tiredly "I don't want to talk about it"  
I frowned and turned, awkwardly, around to face him. "You know you can tell me anything" I said.

He smiled and kissed my head "I know that... The only reason I was upset is because I wouldn't be able to threaten him, even though I want to. I realised when you brought that up, unintentionally though, the fact that I wont be able to protect you...because I'm too afraid to talk to anyone"

"Oh Edward, Don't worry about that. I wont need protection" I comforted him. "But" I added after he looked at me "If it happened to be the fact that I did need protection, I am pretty sure you love me, right?"  
He nodded "More than anything"  
"Right, well, I'm pretty sure you love me enough to get over that fear, if I was in a lot of real danger. I trust you Edward, and the so called flaws you have, are a part of you, so I love them too. I don't like the fact that you've been treated badly, but I wouldn't have you any other way"  
He smiled and kissed me. When he realised I had no energy to kiss back he smiled and laid down facing me, our nose's almost touching. "Goodnight Bella" He murmured.

"Goodnight, I love you" I whispered, falling asleep.

_I watched as everyone I knew entered a building. Where were they going?  
"Hey? Hey Alice, what's going on?" I asked Alice as she passed me, clutching onto Jasper as if she would fall to her perish if she let go._

"_Alice?" I asked again, she didn't seem to be able to hear me. "What's going on?" I asked, louder._

_She sniffed loudly and turned my way, I was shocked to see no make up on Alice's face, her eyes red, sore and puffy, her lips frowning and her cheeks wet with tears.  
What was going on? Why couldn't she hear me?_

_I passed her to Emmett, who had Rose in his arms, she was crying as well, silently and less noticeably than Alice, but she was still upset. Emmett seemed to be fighting a internal battle, but I manage to see one tear fall._

_I continued closer to the building and saw Charlie and Renee at the door, both pale and devastated. As if they just lost... me. Could this be? No..._

_I then saw Carlisle and Esme, Esme seemed to be crying while comforting Carlisle. I walked up to them and managed to hear what they were saying "I lost her, I didn't mean to but I lost... I haven't lost anyone in 5 years Esme, and when I finally do, its her. How could it be her"_

_Esme sighed "It wasn't your fault" She said desperately "It was no ones fault. No ones."  
I passed them and found the one person I was looking for, hunting for, aching for. Edward. He sat on a bench behind the building, head in hands. I knelt in front of him. I saw tears drip from his hands. He was crying, badly. He began to shake and sob with hurt. _

_I did this to him, I hurt him this badly._

_Alice came around now, and convinced Edward, with difficulty that he needed to come inside. He obliqued but only when Alice told him that 'Bella would have wanted you to be there'._

_I followed them into the building._

_I was right. It was my funeral._

_The funeral director stood at the podium and once everyone was seated, began. I sat on the floor in front of Edward, hoping to some how, comfort him in spirit._

"_Welcome, we are gathered here today, to comfort one another, pray with one another, forgive, thank, and finally, say our goodbyes about and to Isabella Swan. She was a daughter, a friend, a best friend, a girlfriend but most of her, she was herself, and that is special on its own." The lady took a deep breath. Who was she? Why is she speaking as if she knows me._

"_Isabella-"  
Edward cut her off "She prefers Bella" He said quietly, shaking his leg. I felt a swell of pride, he just spoke to someone! Someone he probably has never met._

"_Oh, of course. Bella was a decent, kind, caring, selfless, smart, funny, lovable girl, who would have many more words that could describe her. But what we should remember is our memories of her. The times you spent with her that are special, keep them in your mind while you try to say goodbye to this wonderful being. I would like to call her mother who wants to describe Bella's life, so we can all have an idea of what she had been through, even though her life was short"_

_The lady sat down and my mother, who was crying, stood up and approached the podium, careful not to look at the coffin._

"_My daughter, Isabella Swan, was a wonderful girl, but she had a awful life. She spent many days, months in hospital, getting treatment and trying to live a normal life. Bella, she had Acute Leukaemia, a form of Cancer and has had that for most of her life, being diagnosed when she was 6. So, her life was not all smooth sailing. When she was a little older, her father and I split up, and although that must have been hard for her, she never showed her hurt. She always kept her pain to herself, afraid that revealing it to anyone, as if she was worried to hurt her family and friends more"  
My mother let a huge sob wrack her body. I felt the urge to go and hug her, comfort her, tell her I was sorry._

"_My baby, my baby, before she died told me not to worry, not to be too sad but to celebrate the time we had together. So that's what I want to do. I have made this, short clip of a collection of photos to express better than words, her life" Renee left the podium and collapsed into her seat, Phill hugged her and Charlie rubbed her shoulder, it was odd to see._

_The pictures were pretty much my whole life, from a baby, to a toddler learning to walk, to my first time in hospital, to my first loose tooth, to my first day of school, to a trip to the zoo. Then there was some summers at Charlie's and then some ballet recitals, me falling over, me laughing, me crying, me hugging mum, me sleeping, me falling some more. Then I was older, one of me leaving to live at Charlie's for a while, there was one of me and Charlie, there was one of my car and me, there was one of my room at Charlie's that I remember randomly taking, there was one of me laughing at the fish that I thought looked like a dog. There was one of me and my friends, me and Alice, me, Emmett and Jasper, me and Rose, me and Edward hugging, me and Edward kissing – I blushed at that one – and then some more. It finally rested on one that I actually believe to be the best photo ever taken. It was taken by Edward, I was sitting on his porch swing, I had a beanie on and I had my hands wrapped around a mug of hot chocolate. I was staring into the forest. You could see the calmness, the peacefulness in my eyes, the rosiness, which was really rare, in my cheeks and you could see the happiness from my smile. It was a normal photo, of a normal person. Not of someone dying."  
I felt wet tears falling. And someone sob behind me. I turned to see Edward fighting with himself._

_The speaker lady stepped back up after the photo vanished "Now, Bella's father would like to say a few words"  
My dad? Wants to speak? Show his emotions? In front of everyone?_

"_Hello, I am Bella's Dad, or as she called me when she was little, the chief of fathers."  
A few laughs filled the room._

"_I am not good at speaking to a lot of people, and I'm not good at showing emotions. But if I had to make an exception, it would be for my baby girl. She is-no...was" He wiped his eyes "The most important thing, person, being in the world to me. And I fell, that now she is gone, that the reason I had to live, is gone. But do not panic, I'm not going to off myself, because she would probably tell me off. I know that she'd want us to be happy, just as Renee said, and I just wanted to tell you all...all of you, how special my baby was, how beautiful she was as a person, and how much she will always be missed." He all but sprinted to his seat and covered his face in his hands._

_The lady came back up and told Carlisle that he could speak now._

"_I was Bella's doctor, father of her best friends, but she was also like a daughter to me. She brought so much happiness to my children, and even helped them overcome some of their fears. She helped my son trust again and my daughter face her past. She helped us in more ways than one and for that I am thankful._

_But, I can't help but feel it is my fault she is gone. I keep asking myself, could I have of done this, or done that. And every time I come up with a scenario, she ends up dead. So, it makes me think, what could I have done? And I just don't know!" He seemed lost, so very lost._

"_Its not your fault, honey, come here" Esme said, pulling him next to her._

_He paused in front of my coffin "I'm sorry Bella, I tried"  
The lady came back up "In time of test, family is best. That is by Burmese Proverb, one of Bella's favourites quotes. And I'm sure all of you have some feeling that she is giving us a message, a message that even though this is a test on our family, our friendships and bonds, that we do not give up each other, that in the time of this trouble, the best thing to do, is to stick together. Before we come to an end, is there anyone else who would like to speak?"  
Silence. Then suddenly, the person behind me, stood. That can't be possible. The only person behind me is Edward._

_He didn't speak, but went to the podium. He stared at the space I was sitting, as if he could see me._

_He waited._

"_It's okay Edward, you don't have to speak" Carlisle comforted._

_Edward shook his head and took a deep breath.  
"Bella" He gasped. "Was my everything" He said slowly "She made me safe and comfortable. She allowed me to breathe normally. Before her, I was terrified, but after her, now, I am better... and every thought I have of her, I get better."  
"I loved- no, I _Love_ Bella Swan. And I always will" Then Edward fell to the floor, crying. Carlisle ran up to him, trying to soothe him. I ran over too, but I couldn't do anything. Because I was dead._

…

* * *

"Edward? No, Honey, please. I'm sorry" I mumbled, as the image slowly disappeared.

"Bella? Wake up" I heard Edward say, something smoothing down my hair.

Tears fell as I shook. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to"  
"Bella. Wake up. Bella?!" Edward said, more urgently.

I couldn't wake up, I was dead!

Something shook me and I opened my eyes. I opened them into the worried eyes of Edward Cullen, "What's wrong?" He asked me.

chI let out a breathe I did not know I was holding "Bad dream" I said, burying my head into his chest "Very bad dream"

**Long chappie, and a long dream for Bella, but I really wanted to express how much she worries about leaving her family unprepared and worse off because of her. :) I'll update again soon. Promise its gonna be as soon as you review, yes, I'm talking to you. Please review, it would really make my day.**

**P.S. HAPPY NEW YEAR! Today is New Years Eve and tonight I shall not *cough cough* get drunk ;).**

Love you all, thanks for reading.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter thirteen – 2 Weeks later.

My father sat one side of the bed, my mother on the other and Phill next to her, desperately trying to calm her down. Carlisle sat in front of us, looking very upset.

This was not good.

Ever since that bleeding morning, the chemo we tried was not working, it was making me worse. So, my body was failing and as the books have described, the first to go will be my kidney.  
"Bella, you know how serious this is" Carlisle said, addressing me, "The only chance you have, is to to get on the list for a transplant, and hopefully once you get a new kidney, the chemo will start working again and you'll be in tip top shape once more" He told me.

I was dying.

**(A.N Again, just let you know, this is probably not what happens. I'm making it up for the sake of my story. :P)**

I tried to take in what he was saying, but all I heard was sobbing. It wasn't coming from me. My mother had started crying into Phill's arms, my dad was holding onto my beds railing, rather tightly. His knuckles were turning white.

Why were they so upset though? I was the one who was dying, but yet, at this moment, not one tear had fallen. I was in shock. Because although it might not... my dream might come real, I might hurt the people I love most and that alone, might kill me more.

"Carlisle" I said quietly, I was extremely tired and sick all the time, pale and almost yellow-ish. I could barely get up to use the toilet and if I ate, it would come straight back up. "Put me on the list" I said, making my life changing decision, or hoping it might change my life. "If that's the best option, and I know you wont lie to me, put me on the list"  
Carlisle smiled and lent over and kissed my cheek. "I'll tell everyone?" He asked.

I knew Edward, Alice, Emmett, Jasper, Rose and Esme all stood outside, waiting to hear my options for the non-working chemo allergic cancer patient.

I nodded and sunk back into my pillows.

"You'll have to sign some things" Carlisle told my parents, and then he lead them to his office. I was finally alone.

I didn't know if he had taken the others with him, to properly explain my condition, but I guess in a few moment's I'll know.

"Is she asleep?" I recognised as Alice's voice, asked.

"Dunno" Emmett whispered, which was barely a whisper for him.

I smiled up at them and looked at them all.

Emmett, so strong and scaring. But really, he was a teddy bear. So caring and funny.

Jasper, quiet and secretive, but yet without him, it would feel as if the group would fall apart.

Rosalie, so beautiful and lovely. She would stick up for anyone of her friends.

Alice, my best friend and sister-like person. I love her to death, without her, I would have died.

"Where's Edward?" I asked, my voice barely audible.

"He's gonna come in when we've finished" Alice said, kissing my cheek. "Get better Bella, I love you" Then she left.

Everyone else said there well wishes and left me alone, waiting for Edward to come through the door.

But, if he does, he'll just be more hurt, more damaged, if I continue to let him be with me, grow closer to me, if I do die, then it will hurt him more... The only option, the only horrible, monstrous option is to get them out of my life.

I pushed the nurses button. "Hello?" Someone said into the speaker.

"Its Bella, Swan can you get my parents?"  
Soon, my parents came in. "Dad, you know about Edward, how he can't talk to people, and such"  
Dad nodded.

"Well, he trust me and every moment I stay with all of the Cullen's, I'm just going to hurt them more. I made a bad decision in coming here, and now that I have to get a kidney, I think it'll be better if I move back to Phoenix."

Dad looked sad and mum looked torn. "I think we should discuss this with Carlisle." Phill answered, taking charge of my parents lack of.

"Just tell him about the moving part, not that its to get away from them all."  
Phill nodded and left to find Carlisle.

I saw the outlines of three men outside my window, one of them was talking, the other one was standing and the other one was looking down. Two came in and one of them sat outside.

"Thats Edward, he wants to come in" Carlisle told me.

My dad, once he saw that I would not be able to confess my want to move to Carlisle, the man who had helped me this far, told him of my plans, but, he made it sound like his plans. "We want to move Bella back to Phoenix. Theirs a better chance that we will find a kidney, and they have better resources." He said gruffly.

"Not that you aren't a good doctor" I added quickly, seeing the hurt in Carlisle's eyes. "You've been the best ever"  
Carlisle looked hurt still, wounded, and worried "Can I talk to Bella for a second" He said. My parents eyed me and once I had nodded, left my side to go outside.

"Oh Hello Edward" My mother said as she left. Edward must be outside. "It will only be a few minutes more, and then you can see her."  
"Bella" Carlisle said, sitting on my bed, "Honey, is this there idea or yours?"  
I chocked out my answer "Mine"

He sighed "Why? Because you know this hospital is well stocked with top quality resources and you'll have the same chance to get a kidney here"  
Tears started to fall "I need to leave. Please Carlisle, don't tell Edward or Alice or anyone, not even Esme, but I don't want to hurt them any more. If I... If I die then Alice will go blame herself, maybe try and commit suicide again! And Edward, I would have left him forever, at least this way, if I get better, I can come back, but if I die... I'm gone forever, and I don't think that will help him. I don't want to hurt them, or you or Esme or anyone ever again. I hate hurting people!"  
"Oh Bella" Carlisle sighed and then pulled me into a hug. "I'll organise for you to be moved. But I don't know if it will help them..."  
"I'll make sure it does, I'll talk to them before I go" I promised, kissing his cheek "Thank you for everything."  
Once I was alone, Edward came in.

"What's going on?" He asked me quietly.

I sighed, this will probably be the most horrible thing I have ever done to him, and hopefully I will never have to do this again. "I need to tell you something"  
"Okay..."  
"I am going back to Phoenix" I said, letting the bomb drop straight away.

He seemed to be in shock. His eyes went wide, and his mouth was turned into a straight line. "Your leaving?" He asked.

I nodded sadly.

"Leaving me?"

"Edward, please... this is so I can get better-"  
"Is it really? It that really the reason?" He asked, raising his voice.

"Yes. Edward please listen. I love you, I don't want to leave you. I want to get better so I can be with you forever!"  
"Bella! Your leaving wont help me! You know that! What's going to happen to me or Alice, we can barely function without you, and now your leaving!"

Tears falling again. "Stop, please. This is hard enough" I pleaded.

"Hard! You know nothing about what's hard!"

I did a double take. What did he say? "How dare you" I whispered, really hurt. "Please Edward, just leave. This will be better for me and for you"

He seemed to realise what he said "I didn't mean it. I'm sorry"  
I let one more tear fall and then I wiped my eyes "Please, I'm not angry, come back tomorrow, just, I need some time"  
He nodded and leant down to kiss me. I let him but I didn't kiss back, and he realised it. "Bella..."  
"Tomorrow" I whispered, and then he left.

I suddenly felt so alone and cried myself to sleep.

* * *

"Bella, you ready to start your move?" Carlisle asked, packing up some equipment to take with me while I'm in the helicopter.

I nodded and took a deep breathe, which made me start coughing, he helped me sit up and couch up the phloem and then laid me back down. "Ready"  
He smiled at me, but it was sad smile.  
"I'm sorry Carlisle... I am, but, please try and see it from my point of view, I don't want to hurt them, I need to put distance between us, so they can not rely on me. Wow I sound up myself"

"Bella, your not up yourself" He chuckled "I understand clearly what your doing, and it is for the best, but it will hurt them still, they'll miss you. But your right, this is for the best"

I stared at him. "You agree with what I'm doing? Really?" I asked.

He nodded.  
"Oh thank god! I was worried I was doing something horribly wrong"

He smiled "The guys are here to say goodbye"

I let out a worried breath and then nodded to Carlisle to let them in. Rose came in first.

"Oh Bella, I know we didn't really get close, but I'll miss you" She told me before hugging me tightly.  
"Thank you Rose, for being nice to me. Can you look after Alice, I don't know how she will take it"

"I promise" She said and then kissed my cheek and left, letting in Jasper and Emmett.

"Belsie! Oh Belsie! Where forth out thy Belsie!" Emmett said, putting his hand on his heart.  
I shook my head and hugged Jasper, who came up to me. "I'll look out for all of them" He promised me.

I hugged him hard for that "Thank you, for everything" I said sincerely.

I then hugged Emmett, who was careful not to hug too hard. Once they left Alice came in, red eyed and worried.

"Oh Bella" She whispered and then threw herself at me. I hugged her back tightly, or as tight as I could manage. "Please don't leave because you think it might hurt us if you don't getting better...because you know the saying, rather of loved and lost than to have never loved before"  
I stared at her, did she really know that was the reason.

"Alice, I have to go, I want to get better and Phoenix...well, Phoenix might help me better than here" I lied.

She nodded sadly. "I'll miss you. Remember to call me. Please" She begged.

"I will" I promised, hugging her again.

She smiled "Come back to us Bella" She mumbled, before leaving the room.

Next, Esme came in. "Hi Esme" I whispered.

She sat on the corner of my bed. "I know why your doing this. Your doing this to put distance in-between yourself and my children, so they wont hurt as much if you die" She said, straight out, putting my biggest problem into one sentence.

I nodded.

"I do disagree with this. But then again I don't. I feel as if I want to protect you and your feelings, because you mean so much to me and my family, as much as I'm concerned, you are my family dear. But then there are my children who will probably hurt more than anyone else if, god forbid, you do pass. So I just wanted to let you know--"  
"Its okay Esme, you don't have to explain, its hard enough already. You don't want them to suffer, and you don't want me to suffer"  
She smiled, tears forming. "You are a beautiful person Bella. When you get older, your going to do great things"  
I let a tear drop. She said _When _I got older. Everyone avoids talking about when I'm older, If I get older.

She hugged me and then kissed my forehead. "I'll see you soon Bella"  
Now, there was only one person left. The person I have been wanting to talk to for a while now, we hadn't spoken about that night where he said I didn't know anything about having a hard life. He had really pissed me off that night, and although I was aching to just let him hold me, I couldn't get passed the hurt and disappointment of those words.

"Bella" I heard him say as he came in. He sat in one of the chairs near my bed. "I'm really sorry. I didn't mean anything I said."  
"The why did you say it?" I asked him.  
He seemed lost "I... I don't know..."

I nodded.

"I am sorry Bella, can you forgive me?"  
I smiled at him and then leant over and kissed him. He seemed surprised but then he managed to kiss me back "I love you. Of course I can forgive you"

He then looked at my packed bag in the corner "I'll miss you"  
"I'll miss you too"  
We sat in silence for a moment "How about we make a deal" I offered.

He nodded "What's the deal?"  
"You go to therapy, or whatever, and try and get over your fear of people and trust."  
He was about to object but I cut him off.  
"Just listen" I said, putting my finger over his mouth "I'm not saying it'll be hard. If you do that, then I will try my hardest, do everything I can to get better. And if that doesn't work out, because some of these things are out of my control, I'll come back here and spend my last months or weeks or whatever, with you guys."

He seemed to think very hard about the offer and then he smiled sadly "Okay, deal"  
Then we shook hands, then laughed and kissed. "I'll miss you. So much" I whispered, my face close enough to be touching his nose with mine.

"I'll miss you too, don't fall in love with Mike-wannabes." He told me.  
I laughed, a lot and then my laughter turned into cries, and my cheeks went damp from tears. "I love you. So, so much"  
He nodded and pulled me against him. "I'll come visit, soon"  
I nodded, forgetting about putting distance in between us. I didn't care, I wouldn't be able to survive if I couldn't even know he was visiting.

Carlisle came back in now. "Your Mum and Phill are back in Phoenix now. Charlie is packing a bit and then moving down with you soon." He told me.

I nodded "Thank you"  
"Alright Edward, wanna help me take her to the roof" The roof, where I would be flown to Phoenix's hospital.  
"Are you coming?" I asked Carlisle, worried I'd be left alone.  
He nodded "Of course"  
Edward grabbed my bag while Carlisle helped me into the wheel chair, and then wheeled me toward the elevator. We pushed the top floor.

Once we were on the roof, the cold, crisp air hit me hard. I was shivering. Carlisle put a blanket around me and started for the helicopter.  
"Wait" I asked. I weakly, stood, Edward ran to my side. I pointed to the edge of the roof and he took me. Here, I looked down on Forks. You could almost see everything. The school, where I met the Cullen's, Charlie's house, which has become my home. I could even see the roof of Edwards house. I could imagine driving up the winding road, over the small river and then into their garage. I could see the park, the supermarket and even the small, decapitated library. This town, this tiny tiny town, was now my home. And I had to leave.

I hadn't realised I was crying until Edward kiss my cheek, wiping away a tear "Don't be sad, you'll come back." He said.

I turned and buried my face in his chest, letting him carry me back to the chair. He put me in and went to move away, but I held on, my arms wrapped around his neck. "I love you" I whispered.

"I love you" He replied, kissing my cheek and then forehead. "Goodbye Bella"  
He unwound my hands and stepped back, letting Carlisle wheel me into the small bed and then onto the helicopter, letting one of the mechanic guys slide the door shut. The engine began and the helicopter began to gain wind. "Goodbye Edward" I whispered, waving out of the window.  
He saw me, smiled while wiping an eye, and then blew me a kiss.

But the helicopter took off before I could catch it.

**Oh no, what have I done! What's going to happen? How will it work now?! How will Bella survive? Will Edward get better? Will Bella? Stay tuned, for the next chapter of: TAKING CHANCES ;)**

**Lol, imagine reading that in the tv speaker voice. :D**

**Thanks for reading, I hope I don't disappoint. I shall write some more now, so, you should get your next chapter tomorrow... or if your lucky, later tonight.**

**Review, it makes me post new chappies faster.**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter fourteen

Edwards POV

I carried Bella's bag toward the elevator, as my father wheeled her in the wheelchair. She pushed the top button and grinned, just like a little kid. It was amusing. We reached the roof and we headed toward the helicopter, which was getting ready to take off. Just waiting for the patient now. My Bella.

Carlisle put a blanket around her when she shivered in Forks cold weather. But just as we went to get her onto the bed they had set up, She asked to wait. Then stood. I ran to her side, afraid she'd fall. I looked at my father for permission as she pointed toward the edge of the roof. He nodded and went to speak to the officer.

I helped her over there, almost carrying her, and there she looked out at Forks, from here, you could basically see the whole town. She seemed to be remembering a lot of things, small tears dripped from her eyes and down her cheeks. I kissed one, salty. "Don't be sad, you'll come back." I said, assuring her, and me, that she would be back.

She turned into me and buried her face into my chest, I picked her up and carried her back to the chair. When I went to move away, her hands tightened around my neck. "I love you" She whispered, those three words had so much emotion I let my own tear fall, except she didn't see it.

"I love you" I replied, kissing her cheek and then her forehead "Goodbye Bella"

I pulled her hands apart and put them in her lap, then I stepped back. I stepped back from my girlfriend, my best friend, my saviour, my support, my rock. So many names for this wonderful person. But for the major part, she was my Bella, my love.

She had been loaded into the helicopter, Carlisle climbing in beside her. The engine began and then it began to rise. I saw her mouth a few words as she stared at me, tears now flowing endlessly from her eyes.  
I wiped my own tear away and then blew her a kiss. But she was already gone.

The mechanics and technicians cleared away stuff as I stood there, staring at the helicopter, flying out of sight.

"Sir? Are you staying out here, if so, we'll leave the door open" One of the guys said to me.

My heart rate excelled. But then, I remembered the promise I made to Bella, _try and get over your fear of people and trust. _I tried to think of what Bella would do, if she were here. She'd answer for me. 'We'll stay out here for a while' She'd say.

I took a deep breath. But the words were stuck in my throat, I couldn't do it, not yet anyway. I just smiled and shook my head.  
He nodded and then left, leaving the door open, so I could make up my own mind.

* * *

I must have stayed there for too long, because my phone began ringing. I didn't answer, I didn't want to speak to anyone. I sat, leaning against the wall, my head in my hands, crying.

I was pathetic. I couldn't talk to anyone. My girlfriend just flew to Phoenix to try and have a kidney transplant and I couldn't even go and try and protect her, because I would be too scared!

I looked up and saw the sun setting. This would be the last day I ever cried over my own problems. Over the fact that I can't talk to anyone! That I can't trust anyone. It is today, that I will change everything. I will, very soon, be normal, be able to talk and trust random people in the street.

I smiled as the sun made the sky turn a brilliant orange. I remember, one other time I had been up here, it was with Bella, and it was because I wanted to see my father, but didn't want to go alone, so she came with me.

_Flash back_

"_Thank you for coming in Edward, Bella, are you okay to give him a lift home?" Carlisle asked._

_She smiled and nodded "Of course" _

_Then we left. While in the elevator, Bella pushed the top button. "What are we doing?" I asked._

"_I want to show you something. You know how I went here the other week or something, well, I went up here and saw the most beautiful-est thing in the world. And I want to share that with you." She explained._

_I laughed and pulled her against me, kissing her while I pressed her back against the elevator's doors._

_It dinged and I didn't stop. "Edward, where here!" She said, against my lips. I laughed and pulled her out.  
We were on the roof._

_She then started pulling me and we stood against the wall, looking out across the town, and then the forest. And behind that was a sunset. It was beautiful. Words could not describe it._

"_Beautiful" I heard Bella mumble._

"_I'd say you'd win" I said in her ear._

"_what?"  
"If there was a competition, which was prettier, you'd win. Cause your breath-taking"  
She laughed and swatted me away, but then turned her gaze back to the sun set._

_End of Flash back_

"Edward?!" Someone said loudly. I turned and saw my mother, kneeling next to me, panic written over her face. "Are you okay?" She asked.

I nodded, and then stood, helping her stand as well. Then she hugged me "I was so worried, we called you like, 20 times and you wouldn't answer"

Now I felt guilty. "Sorry, I just needed to be alone for a moment"  
She nodded "I understand. Are you going to come home now?"  
"Yeah, I guess"  
I followed her out of the hospital and to my car. She said that she'd see me at home, as I climbed into my car and she got into hers.

I drove, slowly, toward home. But I stopped at Bella's place first. I didn't mean to come here, it just happened.

I got out and rang the door bell before I had time to actually think. Charlie answered it, looking more un organised and together as usual. "Oh, hey Edward."

"Uh, I think I left a jacket in Bella's room, do you mind if I grab it?" I lied.

He shrugged "Yeah, I gotta go to the station, just dead lock the door and head out when your done" He said, and then left.

Anyone else, anywhere else, and that would not have happened. Leave the boyfriend alone in your daughters empty house.

But where here, and it was Charlie.

I made my way upstairs, to Bella's room. There, I sat on her bed, it had been stripped of sheets, which were now folded at the end of her bed. The photo's that used to sit on her bedside table were gone, and her bookshelf was almost bare. But when I found what I was looking for, I smiled.

A photo album, of her time here in Forks. She had told me she'd leave it here for me. And now I knew it was true.  
I grabbed that and then a flower from a small vase of roses on her desk and then left, locking and closing the door behind me. I then drove back to my place.

* * *

5 Days later

"Someone answer the phone!" I heard Esme call from her bathroom.  
I waited, Emmett would answer it. But nope, it continued to ring.

I sighed and raised myself off the couch and paused and the shrilling phone. I had to do this, its just a voice, I'll be fine.

I picked it up and placed it to my ear.

Say hello! Say hello! I could imagine Bella encouraging me on.

I took a deep breath. "Hello?" I said slowly.

Someone on the other end paused. "Edward?" they asked "It's Carlisle"  
I let out a slow breathe of air. "Yes, it's Edward"  
"You answered the phone" He stated.

"Yes" I said, smiling "Yes I did"  
"We'll, congratulations!" He said, happily. "This is a great step! Oh, wait until I get home, we can talk about this, maybe next you can go out and talk to people... people you don't know!"

"Did you need something?" I asked, laughing silently.

"Is Esme around?"

"Yep" I laughed and started upstairs. I knocked on her door.

"Esme, its Carlisle"  
She opened the door, the bathrobe around her. "Oh, Edward... did you answer the phone?"  
I nodded and handed it to her "it's Carlisle"  
I left for the couch again, laying down and then swinging around so I watched the TV upside down. Why I was doing this, I do not know! I continued watching 'Family Guy' one of the stupidest shows the world, trying to drown out the name that continued to pop into my head _**Bella.**_

It was there, that I realised properly what I had done. I had taken one step closer to achieving my goal, my promise to Bella.

* * *

2 Days later

It had been exactly one week since Bella left me, and although I had been going to school... I was distracted most of the time. I was there right now, Biology class, the one class I was with Bella, the one class that I now hated.

"Edward?" Can you tell me the answer? The teacher asked. He was a substitute, didn't know about me not talking and no one was here to tell him so.

Everyone was watching me, not going to speak up because they wanted me to suffer, because they were mean idiots with not feelings.

I took a deep breathe and imagined that Bella was right next to me, holding my hand, telling me if I did this then nothing bad would happen, that something good will come out of it. That I'd be known less as a freak and be one step closer at seeing her again.

I took another deep breathe. "Metaphase" I said clearly.

Everyone gasped.

"You spoke?!" Mike Newton acknowledged.

I nodded and then turned back to the board, where the teacher was looking at us strangely before he begun to continue the lesson.

Class finished and I made my way to lunch (A/N I know the periods and time of classes are messed up, but oh well :P)

I got my lunch quickly and sat down at our table. Alice and Rosalie sat down near me. "So, I emailed her and she said she's alright. But I think she's hiding things"

"Who are you talking about?" I asked Alice as I opened my Coke.

They looked awkward and then Alice smiled "My friend from Italy, she had a cold, and she's so selfless she talked it down so I wouldn't worry"  
I frowned. "We'll your lying. How is Bella?"  
Alice laughed nervously.

"Come on Alice, please. She tells you more than she tells me."  
"She is still on the waiting list, I heard Carlisle talking the other day if she doesn't get a kidney soon, she could..."  
I nodded. Bella needs a Kidney. Without a kidney, Bella dies. Simple logic. But where on earth will she find a kidney, that will actually fit her blood type.

Wait. She needs a kidney!! I have two...But am I her type?

I jumped up and ran out of the cafeteria, Alice calling me back. I sprinted to my car and then drove, almost sped, to the hospital.  
Once I was there, I then ran to Carlisle's office. When I got there, I was out of breath. I knocked on the door and then opened it, not waiting for an answer, I caught Carlisle in the middle of telling some important person something. Oh Shit!

"I'm sorry" I said quickly, without realising I just spoke to other people, and I closed the door again.

I waited for half an hour before the door opened again and Carlisle said goodbye to his guests. He turned to me, half amused and half angry.  
I slipped in and then sat down at his desk. "I'm really sorry I did that, I wasn't thinking"  
"Thats alright Edward, just make sure you wait for an answer next time" He told me. He went to open his mouth to say something else, but I cut him off

"I know, I talked. But please don't make a big deal about it, I'm trying okay, I am just really trying" I said, not wanting to go backwards by having everyone pay extra attention to me.

"Okay, So, what did you want, why aren't you at school?"  
"Well, I had a though, and I know its a long shot, but I want to take the chance"  
Carlisle urged me forward with his hands.  
"Bella needs a kidney, yes?"  
He nodded, worried now, he knew where I was going.

"Well, what if I'm a match?"  
He seemed sad "Edward, the percentage of you being a match for Bella, and then her body actually accepting it, would be extremely low. And then, it would be risky for you to have the operation and then you'd be hindered for your life, having only one kidney. Edward, you really need to properly think about this. Talk to Esme and Me at the same time... this is not a spontaneous decision you make... this is life changing, for you and Bella"

I thought about it for one moment. Living with one less kidney, being more careful and having Bella with me, or alive, or living fully but no Bella. I would take Bella any time.

"I've thought about it." I announced "Can you please call Esme. I want to help Bella, I want give her a chance. If I'm not the right match, then we can forget about it"

Carlisle nodded and picked up his phone. "Hey honey, can you get over here, Edward wants to ask you something"  
He paused "I don't think it's something to be asked over the phone Esme. Okay. Love you too"  
"She'll be down in a few minutes" He told me before looking over some work on his desk.

Esme came in soon after and sat, worriedly, next to me. "Okay, whats wrong?" She said, looking at me, as if she was trying to see if I was sick.

"I'm fine" I reasured her. "It's more about Bella than me"  
Her face drained of blood "Is she okay?"  
Carlisle sighed "She's fine, its about Edward, but to do with Bella"  
"Honey, your too young to get married" She said, seriously.

I laughed and Carlisle shook his head "No Esme, Edward wants to see if he is a match for Bella's kidney"  
"Oh" She said, "Edward, are you sure this is what you want to do?"  
I smiled "How about I make a deal. We see if I'm a match, and then if I'm not, we don't have to worry or discuss it, but if I am, I sit down, be very reasonable and talk about it then"  
Carlisle nodded, looking proud and Esme smiled. "Alright then" Carlisle said, standing up "Lets go"  
I froze "Wait, where doing it now?"  
"Well, no time like the present." He laughed and pulled me into an examination room.

I was tested and then sent home, driving with Esme. She had a friend drop her off at the hospital, so I drove her back with me.

She smiled and grabbed my hand "I'm proud of you honey"  
I frowned and stole a glance at her expression she seemed sincerely proud."Why?"  
"Your just taking all this so well and mature. And you've started to talk I hear!"  
"No, Esme, please. I don't want extra attention" I said, repeating what I had told Carlisle.

She laughed and then launched into her story of the day.

We arrived home and Alice immediately bombarded me with questions. But I knew she was just extremely worried.

After I escaped them all I went up to my room and watched the sky pour down rain threw my window. I sat infront of it and then closed my eyes.

_I've never done this before. I've never had a strong enough reason to, but now I do. Please, Please if it is somehow, my turn to have some good luck, not that Bella herself wasn't good luck. But please, let me be a match to Bella. I need her in my life. Please don't give her and then take her. _

_  
Please let me give her something so she can live_

_Let me have her forever._

_Amen._

**Lol, this is weird. Why have i spent my whole New years eve day on Fanfic? Well, because I'm hung over and cant be bothered to do anything else! Thanks for reading. I hope my two chapters, in one day, has made your day and the awesome start to the new year.**

**Remember to review, or else I'll cry**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter fifteen

Bella's POV

I had just arrived and Carlisle came with me to my new room. He frowned at the thoughtless white walls and then stuck up a pin board of photos he had brought from my old room. "Alright Bella, I have to go and sort out a few things, but I'll come and see you before I head back"  
I nodded and closed my eyes. Once he was gone, all the emotions took a toll on me and I fell almost into unconsciousness from exhaustion. Sleeping dreamlessly and more importantly: Nightmare-less.

5 Days later

I had left Forks a few days ago, about 5 and everything was just going down hill. I didn't know any of the doctors and no one knew me. My parents could only spend so much time in a hospital a day, so I was lonely for most of the time. But the worst thing was, not that I was getting sicker and sicker, was because I couldn't see Edward. He used to come in during the night, secretly, and sleep next to me. And then he'd leave in the early hours of the morning with Carlisle.

"Honey? How are you?" One of the nurses asked.

Honey. Thats the name for the patients that they don't know.

"Perfect" I lied. And then I threw up a fountain of blood into the bucket I was holding.

She helped me and then gave me a glass of water. "You are not fine... far from it"  
She read my chart. "Oh my stars, I am sorry dear... Have you talked to a doctor, about getting bumped up the list?"  
I shrugged "Apparently, there are more important people, who need them than me."  
She nodded sadly and then finished her check up and left.

* * *

2 Days later

"Mum" I called out, as I threw up, "MUM!"

She came rushing in and saw the blood in the bucket. It was red-er than usual, meaning it was more blood than what was in my stomach. "I'll get the doctors" She said.

I laid back down and coughed as I moved. I was so tired. I heard the doctors talking, I had less than two weeks, if I didn't find a kidney before then, I'll die.

I pulled over my mothers laptop, and connected it up to the internet in the hospital and send emails to the Cullen's. Then, I closed it, barely got it onto the chair and fell asleep exhausted.

"Bella dear, how are you today?" My old doctor, the one I had trusted but not liked, I miss Carlisle and his funny ties and happy smile.

"I'm okay...tired, sick and dying" I said dramatically.

My mother sighed loudly. Annoyed and my mood. But I saw, especially since I am dying, that I don't care.

I stared up through the tiny window, in Forks that had large windows, which opened, but here, there were small windows, that couldn't open. Maybe because Phoenix was polluted? As I stared up at the sun, I thought about Edward, maybe he was looking up at the sky now as well? Maybe he was thinking about whether or not we would ever see each other again, or I would die before I could get back there.

_I don't actually know if I believe or not. But if your out there, maybe you can take some sympathy on my situation. I'm sure you've seen many more worse off people, but please...maybe you can help._

_If I am to die, sure, I'll die, but please let Edward, Alice, Carlisle and my other friends, my parents and everyone else that cares about me, not forget, but to grieve little over my death, and for them to continue on with there life happily and healthily._

…

* * *

Edwards POV

"Edward, come into the hospital, bring Esme, the results are here" Carlisle told me on my mobile.

I said okay and then went and found Esme, who drove me in her car to the hospital.

We both went straight for Carlisle's office, but this time, I knocked and waited for an answer. Carlisle opened the door and chuckled "You have learnt" He teased, standing aside to let us in.

"Have you looked to see if he is a match?" Esme asked.

Carlisle shook his head "I was waiting for you two"

He sat behind his desk and Esme sat next to me in one of the two chairs opposite Carlisle. I sat, my knee bobbing in nerves.

"Okay" Carlisle sighed, "This will tell us if you are a good enough match for the transplant, but remember, it is a giant leap of faith... do not get your hopes up."  
I nodded.

Carlisle opened the folder and read it quickly, his face dropped, he was sad now.

I was not a match?

He sighed and put it down and rubbed his temples. Esme came over and kissed him "Don't worry, Bella will get better with someone else's kidney" She soothed.

He shook his head "No, Edward is a match. Its a miracle, but he is a match"

I felt like I was flying, flying on a cloud of happiness. I could save Bella. I was a match, my kidney could save Bella, could help her stay alive.

"I'll do it" I said, certain.

Esme wiped a tear and looked at Carlisle. "Are you sure dear?" She asked me.

"Carlisle, if Esme was dying and the only thing that you thought would get her better, would save her life was your kidney. Would you give it to her?" I asked.

"Of course... but this is different, I've known her for 20 years"  
"It's not different, when you first met each other what did you think?" I asked them both.  
"That, that was the man I will marry" Esme said certain.

I nodded "So, Carlisle, this is not different. You would give your kidney to save Esme, so why wont you let me save Bella... because I know, she is the one I want to spend my life with"

He breathed in and then out, slowly. "If you are absolutely sure about this...?"  
I nodded "Positive"  
"even if Bella takes your kidney, her body might still reject it, are you still wanting to take the chance?"  
I nodded "Positive"  
"Even if it will make you be more careful, for the rest of your life, you wont be able to do much sports, you'll get tired easily, you might be on medication for the rest of your life, to make up for only having one..."  
I nodded again. "I am really sure about this."

Carlisle nodded and then smiled "Positive?"  
"Positive" I whispered.

"Okay then. Your mother" He said, looking at Esme, who nodded "And I support you. But I must warn you, I am going ask Bella about it..."  
"No, you can't! She wont take it if you tell her its from me"  
"I have to, its the rules Edward..."  
"Can I come with you?" I asked.

"Of course. Go home, pack, I'll book us some flights. Esme, do you want to come?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes, I do. Alice will want to come too. And then Emmett too"  
Carlisle laughed "A family vacation to Phoenix to try and convince Bella to take Edwards kidney"

* * *

Bella's POV

So tired, so sick, so tired of being sick. "Bella, honey? Wake up" I heard my mum say.

I opened my eyes slightly to see my dad, my mum and Phill standing near me, smiling. "You have guests"  
Phill and mum left, but dad knelt down "Please, think wisely about what they will offer you. Being selfish a little part, but being a alive, is worth it"  
Then he went. What the?

Now, I stared at the door, waiting for my visitors. Carlisle came in, dressed as a father, in jeans and a t-shirt, not as a doctor, following his was Esme, a warm smile on her face, then behind her were Emmett and Alice. My other family had come to visit, even though I had been gone for roughly a week.

But where was Edward?  
Alice came over and hugged me. "You look horrible Bells" Emmett said, over Alice.

Alice hit him and then turned to me. "I missed you" She said sincerely.

"Alright guys, sit there. You know what we told you" Esme ordered. Then she turned to the door "Come on honey, she wont bite you"  
I was confused, but then, my confusion turned to delight as I saw Edward come in. He looked tired, but then he smiled brilliantly when he saw me. "Bella" He whispered.

I sat up, after some struggle, and hugged him tightly as he kissed my forehead. "I missed you" I said to his chest.

"Okay, guys, we have to discuss this" Carlisle said, taking a doctor voice.

"What's up?" I asked, moving over slightly so Edward could sit next to me.  
"We found a match, a kidney..." Carlisle started.

My mouth dropped open "What?!"

He nodded "Well, that's good... yeah?" I asked, confused.

Edward looked guilty... what is going on?  
"Edward?" I asked.

He turned to me "Its my kidney" He explained.

No... no... NO NO! "I don't want it" I said immediately.

Everyone's mood seemed to have dropped. "Can I talk to Bella, alone please?" Edward asked everyone.

They all mumbled there okay's and then left, leaving the door closed half way.

"Bella" Edward sighed. "Please?"  
I shook my head "I'm not going to take away half your life. One kidney means more risks, it means less of a life for you, you already had your childhood stolen! I don't want to take your future away too!" I cried. I will not do this to Edward.

"Bella, honey. I want you to have it, I want you to live! If you die" I gasped at his bluntness "If you die! Then my life wont be worth living! I would rather live half a life with you than a full life without"  
I was in tears.  
"Besides, you promised you would do anything to come back to me. I've kept up my promise, I'm speaking more. Please Bella, if you don't want to do this for yourself, because your too stubborn to see this, then at least do it for me. You know very well that I wont be happy without you. Take this, have the transplant, and then we will be connected forever."  
"But..."  
"Please Bella, I want you forever, for my forever, without my kidney in you, you will leave... please don't leave."  
"Edward..."  
"Bella..." He mocked.

I sighed and wiped the tears away from my cheeks and then I leant in to kiss him "Okay".

It was then, threw the smile on his face, and the new hope in the future, did I actually picture my life ahead. I had never thought about it, because it had never been certain. But now, I saw me, older, happier and Edward, next to me, older and happier. It was then, that I was determined to reach that picture.

**I know its short... but oh well :)**

**And YAY! Edward's kidney is a match! And YAY! Bella's going to live... probably. What happens if her body rejects Edwards kidney? What will happen then? Keep reading to find out. **

**I see a dwindling number of reviews. I want at least 10 (Now I know this is mean, but yeah) before I post another chapter. Now, bare in mind, I have actually written it, so the more you review, the quicker I might post it, tonight... or tomorrow? Depends :)**


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter sixteen

Bella's POV

The day of the transplant was scary. My mother came in an hour before the surgery and broke down and cried. "Oh Bella, honey, I love you so much."

"I love you too mum, I'll see you when I get out, new kidney and bill of health" I said, or so I hoped.

"I know honey. I'll see you soon" She said, before leaving in Phill's arms. He had surprised me by giving me a quick kiss on the cheek.  
"Be safe Bella" He said to me, before leaving with my mother.

Next, My father came in. "Dad" I said, hugging him "When I'm better, can I go back to Forks with you?" I asked.

I saw a tear form in his eye "I wouldn't have it any other way" He mumbled, then kissed my forehead and then my nose, just like he used to do when I was little.

"I love you Bells"

"I love you too Dad"

Edward, who was sitting beside me in the armchair, I was still in my bed, had stayed quiet throughout the whole I love you's. I guess he felt like he was invading a mother/daughter/father/step-father, what ever you want to call it, time.

Once he had left, I turned to Edward, "Are you okay?"  
He nodded, but he was looking a bit green.  
"Nervous?" I asked him.

He nodded again.

"Your going to be fine honey, I know you must be scared..."  
Carlisle and Esme came in then and smiled at us both. Esme turned to Edward "Your making me so proud honey, everything is going to be okay. Alright?" She asked him, hugging him tightly.

"Love you mum" He whispered.

"I love you too Edward"  
Next, while Esme was hugging me, I heard Carlisle ask Edward if he was alright.

"Just scared, you know, I can barely talk to a person and I'm letting some guy cut me up!"  
He saw my worried expression. "No Bella, don't say 'you don't have to do this' I know that. I want to, I'm not stopping... it just doesn't stop the fear"

"I'll sit in the operation if you want?" Carlisle asked Edward and me.

I looked at Carlisle as did Edward. "Yes" We both said at the same time.

He chuckled and then let Alice and Emmett come in to say good luck.

…...............

"Are the patients prepped and ready?" One of our doctors asked?

"Yes Sir" Someone answered.

I turned my head to my left, and saw Edward, laying there eyes closed. "Edward?" I whispered.

He turned and smiled at me.

"Thank you" I said, smiling back.  
"When were both strong again, we can finish school together, go to uni, move out, be together. Forever" He promised, whispering and eyeing the men who stood near him.

I nodded. "Sounds amazing" I whispered.

He smiled and reached his hand out to mine.

I did the same, but the beds were a little too far apart, and our fingers brushed the tips of each others.

"Alright, you two ready?" The doctor said.

smiled at him.

I turned back to Edward. "ready?"  
He laughed nervously.

Then, they wheeled our beds in separate ways, to separate operation rooms. Carlisle sent a look of sorry to me before following Edward.

I was set up in a sterilised room, scared and lonely. The men walked around me as I stared at everything looking at me.  
"Ready Bella?" Someone said kindly.

I nodded and then the gas mask was placed over my mouth and I was put to sleep, floating in nothing.

* * *

Carlisle's POV

I looked and Bella and I hope she could see my apology before I followed Edward's bed down the hall. I watched, what was probably the hardest thing to watch, my son being cut and prodded. I had gotten the best doctor here to do this, but it still worried me to see him through this.  
His heart rate rose for a moment while they took his left kidney out of his body, and into a esky, then having one of the helpers, run it to Bella's room. I stayed with Edward.

They stitched him up, but during that his heart rate sky rocketed. "Internal bleeding" "Heart Failing" Words were being thrown around, but I could only watch the monitor as the final beep sounded and then nothing.

"Paddles!" Someone shouted.

I stepped out of the way as they brought the cart over and charged it. Someone still working on his left side.

"Clear" They shouted and charged his heart.

The monitor beeped once, before stopping and then nothing again.

"no" I whispered.

"Clear" they shouted again and charged his heart again.

It beeped twice now, before stopping once more.

"Edward, come on son" I said, louder.

His heart beeped again.

"Keep talking Dr. Cullen" Someone told me.

"Edward, you need to come back, You can't leave us"  
Beep Beep  
"Edward, your mother, Alice, Emmett there all waiting for you just out of this door. If you go, there all going to be mighty upset"  
Beep Beep Beep

"Edward, Bella is waiting for you" I said, louder than the others.

Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep

Oh thank god.

"He's back" Someone said, and continued finishing his stitches.

"Cullen, coming to see how the other half is going?" Edwards doctor asked

I nodded and followed him, going into Bella's room, once we had re washed and was safe to enter.

Bella was open, and they had taken out her failing kidneys and were putting in Edwards healthy one.

Her kidneys, compared to Edwards, had a dramatic difference, hers where bruised and purple/black where as his was a pink healthy colour.

She had no problems, no heart monitors dead, and soon she was stitched up.

I sighed with relief as they confirmed it to be successful and then they started to clean her while I left to find our families.

I went into the waiting room and all there eyes turned to ours. I was surprised to find Jasper and Rose along side Emmett and Alice, but I did not question why. "There fine" I said earning a applause from the teenagers and a sigh of relief from my wife and Bella's parents.

* * *

Bella's POV

I felt so heavy, it was so dark everywhere. I didn't know where I was, or what had happened. All I knew was that it was dark, quiet, and I was scared.

"Bella" Someone said, where was the voice? I recognised it, but where was it coming from?  
"Bella" They said again. That was Edward. I ran toward the voice, but I was slow because I was so heavy.

Suddenly, I could see some light. I kept running toward it and then, somewhere in my mind I thought I should stop. Don't people usually say 'don't go into the light?' But I didn't stop, instead, I reached the light and I was in a meadow.

It was beautiful.

There, sitting in the middle of the flowers, was Edward. "What is this?" I asked him.

"This, is what we can have. What we can be like when you wake up" He said.

Well, that didn't make any sense, I was awake.

"Wake up Bella" He said.

"What? Edward, why?"  
He chuckled "Come on Bella... wake up"

I suddenly felt a bed underneath me, thin blankets on top of me, and a strange sensation on my left side. "Edward?" I asked as I opened my eyes.

But it wasn't Edward, it was a doctor. And not Carlisle.

I looked around the room, confused. I was in a hospital.

"Bella, Edward is fine, he's in his room. The transplant went perfectly, now we just have to wait to see if your body will accept the Kidney or not. Hopefully, it will"

He continued to explain some things to me while he checked my vitals.  
I nodded, but I still felt tired, and sick.

"Don't worry, if your body accepts the kidney, you may feel sick for a few days, and then you'll start to get better"

I nodded and closed my eyes, resting, and feeling sore.

My parents came in, and then left. I was not allowed visitors for a while, the doctors wanted to keep me isolated, so I was put into one of the germ proof rooms, so I wouldn't get sick. There was a big glass window to the side, where I could see people. But from aside from that, the only people contact I got were doctors, who were sterilised before coming into the room. If some random had come in, I could get extremely ill because my immune system is at its all time low.

3 Days after the operation.

I watched the passing traffic, I had been getting sicker and sicker. I was pale, with a yellowish tinge, and although the doctors don't say it directly in front of me, I know they are worried about my body beginning to reject the kidney.

Doctors, patients, people all passed my window, giving me weird, sympathy looks. I smiled at a small kid who stopped directly at my window and waved. His mother shot me a look of apology before heading down the hall.

After seeing the boys curiosity, then his mother, the way he looked at her, I felt a pang of disappoint. I could probably never have children.

I stared at the ceiling lights, bright and shining above me. Suddenly, someone tapped on my window.  
I turned, half expecting the small boy to be back, but instead, it was Edward, he was sitting in a wheelchair, his father behind him. He looked pale and tired, sweat trailed down from his hair line to his forehead. But he was wearing a giant smile on his face.

He said something and I sadly shook my head and pointed to the window, and then my ear.  
He laughed slightly before pointing to his side and then doing thumbs up with one hand, and thumbs down with the other.

He was asking how I was.

I smiled and did my thumbs half way, but facing more up than down.  
He nodded sadly.  
I pointed to him, and then to my new kidney side. And shrugged.

I saw him smiled and then do his thumbs up, Well that's good. I sighed and rubbed my eyes. So tired, so pale, so yellow, so sick. I hope I was not rejecting his gift.

He saw me and his smile left. He pouted and I laughed softly, If I did too many large movements, I might throw up. That would be bad.

Carlisle waved at me, and then pointed to his watch, then waved again. He began to wheel Edward back the way he came.

Edward blew me a kiss.

This time, I caught it.

* * *

Doctors POV

"Smith, have you done another check up on Isabella Swan? The kidney transplant-er?" I asked Dr. Smith.

HE nodded "She doesn't seem to be getting any better, usually they show more positive signs than now. Her body is showing signs that she's rejecting the kidney..." He explained.

"Yes, I was afraid of that. We can give it a few more days and then if she doesn't improve, we can talk to her and her parents about the other options, although there are very few now..."

* * *

2 Days later

Bella's POV

I watched as Carlisle came into my room, in his scrubs and deemed safe to enter. He sighed and sat on the crystal clear seat.  
"How are you?" He asked.

I smiled weakly and went to answer but was stopped when I threw up. My meal, lunch came right out and onto my blankets, but, although that was gross, Carlisle was used to vomit, as he was a doctor. So when he gasped in surprise, I became frightened.

"Bella" He sad sadly. "Your bleeding"

My hand went to my nose, wet, warm, sticky.. blood. I looked at the pool in front of me, it was tinged red.  
This was not good. Blood was not good.

"Oh no" I whispered, tears falling now. My nose bleed sped up, I held the cloth Carlisle gave me against it, hoping to stop it. I was now aware of a burning sensation inside me.

"Bella, calm down" He said as I began to hyperventilating.

I had taken Edwards Kidney, and my body was rejecting it. How can I stay calm when I've made him suffer, and I wont even be able to live to spend our life together! I wanted to spend what was left of our life, with him! Not to hinder him with one less kidney and then die!  
"Oh no, no, no, Carlisle. NO! Edward, I'm sorry" I started crying.

Doctors came in now, pulling off the blanket and mess in front of me, trying to hold me down as I fought with everything I had let.

Pain, there was pain inside me. Burning. It had to come out!

I clawed at my healing scare. "GET IT OUT! Give it back" I sobbed.

I saw, as they tried to sedate me, through the window, Edward was there, with Alice and Emmett, fear written all over there faces. Edwards hand was rested up against the window. I reached out for him.  
The pain was almost unbearable, but Edwards gaze stopped my fighting. I stared into his green orbs of life and got lost in them, I lifted my hand up to my mouth and the blew him a kiss, he shared me a small, sad smile before catching it and placing it to his lips.

Then I heard him. "BELLA!" he cried, just as I closed my eyes on his face.

**Oh no, This is such a sob story, I'm sorry. I promise It will get happy ;) Perhaps, maybe Bella will live and they can go back to school and live.**

**Or maybe Bella will die and then Edward will move on.**

**Or maybe, maybe Edward will go and commit suicide once Bella dies and then they meet up together in the other world!  
OH SO MANY POSSIBILITIES**

**OR.. OR... they get turned into vampires. Dun dun daaaaaaaaa No, that ones out. This is a no vampire story, sorry**

**Review, please. I'll love you for it.**

**p.s its about 12.35am here in Australia, the wonderful sunburt country, or whatever you say about it. I have to work at 9am. So thank me greatly for staying up to finish it... actually, i lied. i had already finished it and was writting chpt 17 and talking to people and reading a fanfic about bella going to london, or something like that. Anyhoo. I'm off to bed. 3 u for reading**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter seventeen

Edward's POV

I watched as Bella struggled against the men holding her down. My hand, subconsciously went against the glass, as if I could somehow help her, calm her the way she always calms me. All of a sudden, her eyes caught mine and she stopped struggling.

She reached out for me, but obviously we couldn't touch. She seemed to be in so much pain but her face said otherwise. Her body continued to thrash but she didn't seem to notice. She lifted her hand and then blew me a kiss. I smiled sadly before catching it and then kissing my closed fist.

Then, her face twisted into madness as she felt her pain. No, she can't leave me.

"BELLA!" I cried out as she focused on my face once more before closing her eyes.

I was pushed, against my wishes by my darling brother, back to my room. He helped me onto the bed while I held back the tears.

"Is she going to be okay?" I asked them.

They look at each other and then back at me.

"Alice?" I asked.

She seemed to be fighting her own tears, but at my plea she broke. Tears streamed down her face as she sobbed into Emmett's side.

Then it hit me. Poor Alice had been pushed aside while everyone focused on me and Bella, Bella's sick and she wasn't getting any comfort, it was always me. She was close to Bella, in a way I couldn't be and I was sure she was hurting more than Emmett, who was only a friend, and more than Rose and Jasper. She was Bella's best friend.

"Alice" I whispered, sitting up.

She turned to me and then climbed onto my bed, holding onto me, crying.

Emmett came over and patted my shoulder, before slipping his arm around my shoulders and sniffing as well.

Bella had done so much for our family. So much in such a little time. She had changed us all, meant something to us all. It hurt us all to see her fight so hard, for a battle that is almost, unbeatable.

We watched, threw my door, as medical staffed pushed a unconscious Bella and her bed down the hall way, everyone rushing behind her. Carlisle was with them.

Emmett ran out in the hall and stopped Esme, "What's going on?" He asked.

"She's bleeding internally. They have to operate..." She sobbed.

Emmett took her into his arms.

She was bleeding, inside her. Was this because she didn't take my kidney...

I waited, anxiously alone. I had sent Alice, Emmett and Esme after they almost sent me insane from discussing possible outcomes.

I had briefly thought about the fact that maybe this was a waste. But then it was overcome with guilt! How could I possibly think that, when my Bella was fighting for her life.

I decided to pray for her, seeing how I had no other option, I couldn't help her in any other way.

_Bella_

_You are my love, my hope and my dreams_

_come back to me, healthy and whole_

_please let her come back to me... please_

2 Days later

"She still hasn't woken honey, We can call later, I promise, but we have to go back home" My mother told me, while she packed my small bag of clothes from the drawers.

I had been discharged my prescription filled and then ready to go on with my life, only to have to take one pill, twice a day. But it was wrong. My Bella wasn't coming home with me, and I didn't want to leave without her.

"Edward, Once she's ready, I'll bring her back home to Forks" Charlie reassured me.

He had given me a good talking to, when I had told him I was going to give Bella my kidney...

It had taken me all my strength to be able to talk to this man who had once scared me witless. But I managed, for Bella's life.

"_Charlie, I wanted to ask you before Bella, and before Renee. But I did the test and I'm the right match for Bella, my kidney could work for her" I explained over a coffee._

"_Really..." He said, speechless._

_I nodded. "I wanted to know what you think..."  
"We'll I'm not going to say to the only option we have to save my little girl. But if you think now she's bound to you forever, your mistaken. I understand that you love her and that she loves you. But remember, I thought that about her mother and look at where that got me, not that I regret Bella. She is the jewel of my life...._

_If you ever, ever hurt Bella, you'll have me to answer to. If she wants to go, you let her go. If she's not happy, you let her go. I'm warning you now Edward, if you make my baby unhappy... there are a lot of people who love her and care too much about her to have you get away with it"  
I stared at him, this man barely showed emotion. I swallowed nervously. I was actually intimidated by him. "I would never dream of hurting Bella Sir, And if I do hurt her, you have permission to lock me up and throw away the key. Chief Swan, thank you..."  
He smiled and patted my shoulder "Call me Charlie"_

"Thank you Charlie, I know you will" I mumbled to him.

I said my goodbyes to her father, mother and step-dad and then walked, carefully into her room.

She was lying on her bed, tubes coming out of her and her breathing was slow, she looked like she was sleeping. She wasn't as yellow/pale any more. Just pale, and Carlisle thinks that is because of her lack of sun.  
"Goodbye Bella. I'll see you when you get better. The doctors say you should get better. Hopefully there right, this time"  
I kissed her lightly on her lips. "Come back to me"

Then I left.

Bella's POV

I was awoken by a blinding flash of light in my eyes. Argh! "Oh, she's awake now" I heard a doctor say. Well of course I am!

I turned to see the man put away a small flash light. We'll that explains the light.

"What happened?" I asked.  
"Well, you were bleeding internally, so we had to operate and fix that. You've been asleep for about 3 days now and have made a excellent recovery. I am happy to say, that your body has now accepted Edward's kidney" He said happily.

Wait. What. "So, I'm going to be okay?" I asked.

He nodded and then left, leaving the door wide open. It was then did I realise I wasn't in that isolated room, I was in a normal hospital room. My mother, Father, Carlisle, Esme, Alice and Emmett all came in and started sharing there greetings with me. I hugged, kissed and talking with them all. Happy I was going to live. Ecstatic that I might now, become healthy. And thrilled that I would be able to live with Edward, wait... where's Edward?

The doctor left soon after and then my parents came in, beaming widely "Honey! Your going to get better!"

I nodded, equally excited. Could this mean, I would actually get better, live my life, semi-cancer free.

"So, the doctor said some of your options. The knew kidney could respond extremely well to chemo, and then you might actually be cancer free. Or it could be like when you had cancer before it all. But that could cause you to relapse later in life. The first option is very rare, the second is the most common, so that's probably what will happen."  
I nodded, happy I would be given longer to live, despite how long that might be. "Where's Edward?" I asked.

"The Cullen's all left for Forks yesterday. I was told to call them as soon as you woke up" My father explained.

"So, he's okay?" I asked.

All of them nodded "Can you not call them then? I want to surprise them"

They all smiled at me, before leaving the room to let me rest.

* * *

3 1/2 Weeks later

My father had told me that the Cullen's had rung, so he had to say I was doing well, but couldn't tell them when I was coming home. But, today, I was being discharged. I had had a treatment of chemo and the doctor was very happy with my progress. Carlisle knew I was coming back because the doctor's had talked, but I made him promise not to tell anyone.

I was leaving the hospital today, and mum was driving my father and me to the airport. I wanted to get to Forks as soon as possible.

I hugged my mother tightly "I'll come down and visit you in a week" My mother told me.

I nodded then hugged Phill.

My mother was fighting back tears as we went to go inside. I turned and waved "It's okay now! I'm almost perfect" I told her, before hugging her once again.

"I love you Bella"  
"I love you too" I replied, kissing her cheek before following my father to board the plane.

* * *

It was uneventful, the plane ride.

I ended up getting into Forks, after the car ride from Seattle, at about 1.30pm.

I unpacked for a bit, before I drove, my much missed car, down to the school to surprise everyone. I waited, parked next to Edwards silver Volvo, for my much missed second family, to come out of school, but it wouldn't be for another hour, so I walked around the school a bit.

I came up to the oval and sat on one of the seats, watching the people play football. I saw Emmett and Jasper and then, in the distance, Edward. But he wasn't alone.

I watched as Lauren and Jessica stood next to him, talking animatedly. The coach called them all over and one of them, I think it was Lauren, leant up and kissed his cheek.  
I tried to tell myself that there must be a explanation about it, that there must be a reason for her kissing him, although it was on the cheek. But it didn't help the jealousy and hurt bubble inside me.

I got up then, and started toward the field. Jasper saw me and pointed, calling to Edward and Emmett.  
I couldn't stop the tears when I saw Lauren wrap her arms around Edward's waist. It blurred as he started walking toward me. Once we finally met each other in the middle, we stopped and stared at each other.

**Sorry the chapter is so short, but my head is sore and i'm getting sick, so im not really with it, but I felt bad if I didnt update with another chapter...**

**Oh no, Lauren got to Edward! Next chapter will be about Edward's time in school without Bella and why Lauren was hanging onto him. I wonder what's going to happen?! I don't even know!**

**I wish someone else was writing the story, then I wouldn't have the pressure of upsetting so many of my loyal readers. Love you all, :D**

**P.S I was late, updating today's chapter, cause I had work, and I have usually got the next one written by now, and its not today, cause I've been getting sick. But you should have another chapter by tomorrow, late afternoon or later in the night. (My time... which is like 7.50pm now, I don't know what time it is for any of you) **

**Does anyone else find it weird about the time differences, it would be interesting to hear about the time from where you are...**

**Remember to review**


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter eighteen

Edwards POV

The plane ride back to Seattle, from Phoenix was relatively short, but definitely not painless. I sat on the window side, Alice in the middle and then Emmett next to her. Our parents were in front of us.

I rested my head against the wall, putting in my ear phones and listing to my I-pod, draining out the sound of my sister and brother playing some weird card game, I think it was go fish... how you play that with two people is beyond me.

Once we arrived home, I went straight to my room and laid down on my bed, exhausted, sore and sad. I didn't leave the room for the rest of the night, despite it being 5pm.

"Edward, time for school" Emmett said, while standing awkwardly at the foot of my bed. I had spent the past week at home, doctors, or dads, orders. I had to fully heal from my operation. I had hoped that during this, Bella would have called, but no, her father had, he said she was doing okay, but she was yet to be able to come home.

I nodded and Emmett and started getting up, heaving myself out of bed and then stripping while going to my connected bathroom. I let the hot water calm my nerves. First day of school since the Cullen's mysteriously left for Phoenix, we'll, for me anyway. They all knew about Bella now...so I was no doubt going to be questioned.

Coming down to the kitchen, fully dressed and with my bag and books, I sat at the counter and waited for everyone else, picking at the toast Esme had made for me, because I had said I wasn't hungry.

"Lets go Edward" My sister said calmly, taking my wrist.

"Be careful honey" My mother warned "Alice, stay with him..."  
I groaned and dragged Alice out to the car, I didn't need my mother telling my younger sister to look after me.

I stayed mostly beside one of my friends for the hole day, the only time I was alone, was Biology, so as I was walking to my locker, after it, was when the students attacked.

"Where's Bella?" One of them asked.

"What happened?"  
"Where'd you guys go?"  
"Did she die?"  
"Where you at her funeral?"

I couldn't take it. The thought of her dying, of being at her funeral, brought me over the top. I sprinted out of the crowd, only to be blocked. "Let me out" I pleaded, speaking queitly.

Suddenly, I heard a voice.

"Guys, can't you see he's terrified? Let him out" A voice said to the crowd. But it wasn't a voice I recognised.

A gap opened and I sprinted out and toward the parking lot, then into the forest. I sat behind a tree, breathing heavily, trying, desperately to calm down.

"Edward?" The voice called to me.

Suddenly, a girl appeared in front of me. Lauren, I think her name was. "Are you okay?" She asked me, squatting down to my level.

I nodded, very careful not to look at her, as she was kneeling to a level which left her revealing a little bit much for my comfort.

"Good" She said suddenly, and then stood up "We'll you owe me. I helped you. And you have to help me, but I don't have anything yet, so I'll be seeing you soon" She said angrily, and then left for class.

What just happened? What have I gotten myself into?

* * *

3 ½ weeks later

"Edwarddddddd, I need to talk to you" I heard the voice I had not heard for 3 weeks call to me.  
I turned in the spot and faced Lauren and raised my eyebrow at her.

"I have a party, tonight. You have to come" She ordered.

I shook my head.  
"Tut Tut Edward, I'm not _asking _you. I'm _telling _you. You owe me, remember. Bring your little family and what not, but you must be there" She said, and then strutted off in the other direction.

Oh Crap...

After school, I sat having the third degree from Alice, Emmett, Jasper and Rose. "So that's what happened..." I ended, explaining why I _had _to go to the party. "Please come" I pleaded.

Rose and Jasper nodded, and then hurriedly left to go get ready. "We'll meet you there later" Jasper said to Alice, before quickly kissing her cheek. Had they always been going out?

Alice sighed and then a grin spread over her face "Can I dress you?"  
I frowned "You can pick my clothes, yes, but not dress me"

She laughed and then entered my closet.

Emmett grumbled something about a football match "I'll be ready by 7" He told me, when he saw my feared expression. I had counted Emmett being there, so he could help me.

Once we were all ready, we hoped into my Volvo and all drove towards *shudder* Lauren's house. We let our self in, because it was already crawling with teenagers coming and going, and went quickly over to Rose and Jasper.

"EDDIE!" someone cried over the music.

I cringed as I felt someone's hand grab mine and spin me around. I smiled awkwardly at her.

"You came!" She exclaimed. We'll, way to state the obvious! "Come on, I'll get you a drink"  
Then, she pulled me away. Emmett looked as if he was about to intervein, but I shook my head. I owed her, so I would put up with this so she'd just leave me alone.

Once we were in the kitchen, she shoved a paper cup in my hand. I sniffed it, beer. I hate this stuff, but I took a big mouthful, just to help me along with the night.

"So Edward" She said, quietly, moving closer as I moved away, soon my back was up against the wall. "I heard that your Bella hasn't come home yet... what does that mean?"

I shrugged and started looking for my family, why didn't I let Emmett help me.

"We'll, I heard, that she isn't coming home"

We'll you heard wrong, I thought about telling her, but decided to keep quiet, I really didn't want to egg her on.

"So, I thought... we'll that leaves you free..." She said, standing on her tiptoes. "You can trust me, I wont hurt you"  
I shook my head and tried to get away but she put both her hands on either side of me. Trapping me.

I started breathing heavily, and I guess she took that as a different emotion...

She leant the rest of the way in and kissed me, on the mouth, while I was trying to get away. I didn't kiss back. I held my mouth tightly closed and stopped moving, stopping breathing, and even stopped blinking.

"Hey!?" I heard someone shout from behind. Oh thankgod.

Rosalie came up and yanked her off me. "What do you think your doing?" She asked Lauren.

Lauren just sneered at Rose and then smiled at me, before walking away, swaying her butt a little too much.

Rose turned to me "And what were you doing?!" She asked.

"I... I don't know!" I said, stuttering "I didn't want it, I tried to get her off, and then she kissed and I sort of froze... I didn't know what to do!" I explained.

She sighed and grabbed my hand, pulling me back into the living room, this time, I followed this girl willingly.

Tomorrow

I woke up early, I was worried about today. I left straight after _kissing Lauren_ and I know she tried to get in contact, she called me several times. How she got my number, is confusing, but I didn't answer.

I got dressed and then went down into the lounge, I was so early that I met my dad on his way out to the hospital. He smiled widely at me "Have fun today at school!" he said a little too enthused. Then he went through the front door. Mum was in the same, weird, over-happily mood when I went into the kitchen. "Do you want me to make you something to eat honey? Pancakes? Bacon and eggs? Toast? Something?" She asked, looking in the fridge.

"Ah, scrambled egg's would be good" I said, making use of there willingness and over happiness. It was weird...

Once I ate, I then spent the next hour watching tv. Wow I had really gotten up early.

Emmett came down with 5minutes before we had to leave, still in pyjama pants and no shirt. He sat down next to me.

"Uh, you gonna get ready?" I asked him.

He laughed, then checked the clock. "Oh crap! I thought it was earlier!" Then he sprinted back upstairs.

Alice came down, ready and dressed and then ran into the kicthen, grabbed an apple and then ran to the door "CALLING CULLENS! TIME TO LEAVE" She shouted.

I laughed from my position in the couch. She jumped "Shit Edward, I did not see you there!"

I laughed again and then followed her to the car.

We waited for Emmett and then drove off to the school.

The day passed slowly, I kept anticipating that Lauren would jump out any moment and confront me. But that didn't happen. I didn't see her at all.

It was my last period, gym. Emmett and Jasper were in this class with me, but so was Lauren.

We did laps around the oval before coming into the middle to rest. The teacher then called everyone to order and began to sort out teams for football.  
Lauren was placed on my team.

I stood off to the side, waiting for the football, or looking like it, but really staying out of the way. Emmett and Jasper were playing, Emmett tackling anyone he could find.

I stared at the seats. Was I imagining things? Was that Bella? Coming toward the seats? No, she would have told us if she was coming home.  
"Hey Edward" I heard Lauren say. I saw she had come over while I was staring off to space.

"So, anyway, I know you like me. So you could just like, admit it" She said, looking at her nails.  
I glared at her, wow Jessica is here too? She seemed to be talking as well, But I tuned them out. I like her? She thinks I like her?"

I was about to express my feelings and basically tell her to fuck off, when the teacher called us over.

Lauren stood up and kissed my cheek.  
"Edward?!" I heard Jasper call to me. I turned and saw him pointing to someone off to the side. I followed his finger and found Bella, walking toward me, furious.

Then, Lauren wrapped her arms around my waist. I froze and like last time, stopped breathing and stopped moving. But I quickly regained myself and pushed her off me, but she didn't seem to anger at all, instead, she squealed and ran off to her friends.

I ignored them and started going toward Bella, my Bella. I ended up sprinting toward her. Then, I stopped in front of her, feeling she didn't want me to hold her. But _why _that was, I had no idea.

I saw tears falling and then I saw the hurt and betrayal on her face. Oh... oh no, she must have seen Lauren... "Oh Bella, that was not what it seemed like. Please let me explain"  
Hurt, pain, hurt and more hurt. "Edward..." She whispered.

"Bella, please. She helped me escape all these people and then was convinced I had owed her one, so she made me go to this party last night and now she thinks I'm in to her" I explained quickly.

Lauren suddenly came up. "Hey Bella, I thought you had died" She spat. "Too bad" She said quietly, but we still heard her."

Bella was suddenly furious. She stepped forward and then took my hand and pulled me down to her level. Then she kissed me... and I was floating.

Lauren stood, staring at us before she yanked Bella away from me. "What do you think your doing bitch?!" She screamed at Bella.

Bella stared at her and then slapped her "How dare you kiss my boyfriend. How dare you wish I was dead. I want you to live through what I've lived through and then stand still while someone says that they thought it would be better if you had died. Your rude and your a bitch. Leave Edward and me alone or else"

Then she pulled me away.

"Bella, I am sorry" I said, once we had made it to her car.

She nodded and then pulled herself against me. Hugging me.

Then it hit me. She was back! She was better! "Bella, your home!" I said, kissing her properly this time.

She nodded and smiled "And I'm here to stay" She said determinedly.

"All thanks to you."

**Sorry it took so long, how long was it, 3 days ;) Anyway, i had to work and then have this driving lesson and then work more because someone called in sick. So yeah, but I'm all good now.**

**Now, i want to know what you guys want. Do you want a seqeal? of a happy bella/edwards live? or what? I also want to know what sort of sequeal do you guys all want.**

**Give me your opnions and i'll definately consider them all**

**Your reviews make me smile.**


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter nineteen

Bella's POV

"Bella, I'm so happy your back" Edward said, pulling me against him.

I smiled and breathed him in. "I'm glad to be back"

We stayed together for a few minutes, just being in each others presence was enough to fill the weird ache I was having, the want to see and touch him again.

The bell rang and we pulled apart, waiting to see everyone else. I laughed as I saw Emmett and Jasper running toward us.

"BELSIE!" Emmett shouted.

He hugged me, tightly.

"Too tight" I coughed.

He laughed and let go, giving Jasper access to hug me as well. "Glad to have you back" He said, smiling and then releasing me.

Rose was very surprised and seemed to stare at me for a moment before running and hugging me. When she let me go, Emmett and her excused themselves and got into her car and then sped off. I did not want to think about what they were going to do.

Jasper sighed "Can one of you take me home?"

Edward laughed "Sure"  
"Jasper, why are you still here?" I heard Alice ask him.

"Rose drove off with Emmett, so Edward's going to drop me off." he explained.

She nodded and then went towards the Vovlo. She still hadn't seen me. It was quite funny.

"She's been slightly distracted these passed few weeks. I think she's missing her best friend" Jasper whispered to me.

I walked, as quietly as possible, up behind her and placed my hands over her eyes. "Jasper, stop. I am not in a mood for games." She snapped.

I leant in and kissed her cheek, "I missed you too Alice" I whispered, before letting her spin around.

Her mouth went into a small o shape before she jumped at me, wrapping her arms around my neck "Your back!" She squealed.

* * *

I had gone home after our small reunion in the Car park. Edward told me, ordered me almost, to come over to his house. Tomorrow would be Saturday, so they don't have to go to school. And on Monday, I would be going back to school, so my days can start to finally get back to a normal routine.

I got ready for bed after dinner and then climbed in, tired from the flight and then seeing everyone again. Just as I was about to fall asleep, after listening to my fathers snoring from the other room, there was a tap on my window.

I didn't think anything of it until another tap sounded, then another and another.  
I got up and peered out the window. There, in the darkness stood Edward, smiling. I opened the window "What are you doing here?" I hissed.

"I missed you" He stated.

I laughed and ran down, quietly, to let him in.

We fell asleep in each others arms, the alarm set for 7am, so he could escape before my father woke up.

"I love you" I whispered

"I love you too" He replied.

The alarm blared, and he reluctantly turned it off and then told me to go back to sleep, before he drifted out of my room.  
It was Saturday, Charlie's day for fishing, he was going to get up in about half an hour, and if I was awake, it would seem very strange. But I didn't have to act, I quickly fell back to sleep.

I drove over to the Cullen house to find Esme and Carlisle waiting on the porch for me, they seemed very excited.

"Bella!" Esme said as I came over "It's so good to see you, looking so well" She said, hugging me and then kissing my cheek.  
I blushed "Thankyou"  
I turned to Carlisle and he pulled me into a hug "Good to see you again" He whispered.

They lead me inside to a dark entrance. Suddenly, the light was flicked on and my friends all jumped up and shouted "SUPRISE"

I stared at them, wondering why, it wasn't my birthday. My eyes drifted to the banner above the,. "Welcome Back Bella" It said.

I smiled and went around hugging and thanking everyone.

"So Bella..." Emmett asked "Can I see your head?" He asked.

I stared at him, was he serious? Everyone else laughed as I pulled off my beanie.

"Can I touch it" He asked, raising a finger.

I let him, only because he seemed fascinated by it. "It's so smooth!" He shouted, thrilled.

We spent the rest of the day catching up, talking, playing, watching movies and being grateful for each other company, I know I was.

I turned to Edward who motioned for me to come upstairs. I followed, once we were in his room he pulled me to him, kissing nad hugging me.

"I've missed you Bella" He whispered.

"I missed you too, but you saw me last night..."  
He chuckled "You know what I mean. I thought, I thought I was going to loose you..." He said quietly, pulling me to sit next to him on his bed.

"We'll you didn't" I said happily, not wanting to talk about almost rejecting his kidney, which was now working happily.

"I almost did, and I don't ever want to experience that again. So, I wont to give you something" He smiled as he pulled out a small box.

I stared at him, what was he doing?

"This is not certain, because you can give it back any time, and I wont ever question you. But its a promise ring, a promise that one day you and I will get married" He whispered, staring into my eyes.

I eyed the simple silver band with a pattern etched into it, there, in tiny letters it said 'promise'.  
"We have promised each other so much, I promised I'd trust people, you promised you'd get better. So I thought, that word meant a lot to us, because it kept us together..."

I nodded, taking the ring from him and looking at the delicate wording. "Edward..."  
"I know, you might think I'm taking it too far, we are only young. But I want to know your mine, And I want you to know that I'm yours..."  
Tears were welling up in my eyes.

"This is a symbol that one day we will live together, be married, maybe get a cat, or a dog, even try for children. That we will love each other, for the rest of our lives. I know this is a lot to take in, so if you need tim-"  
"No" I said cutting him off "I do not need time! I have spent the past too many years waiting for times when I'll be strong again, or a time when I have hair. I am not going to waste any more of my time. I want to say yes, I do, but I want you to know, I may not stay healthy forever, I am pretty good now, not even needed Chemo for a long time, living off the med's. But I may relapse, I may turn ill again and this time, you wont have a spare kidney..."  
He put his hands on my shoulders "I know all that, and I don't care. If you have one more day, I want to spend it with you. If I have to spend a whole year next to you, while you try to get better in hospital, I will. If I have to work over time to pay for the bills, I will. I will be there to take care of you. I know everything, I understand everything, Bella, and I want you for who you are"  
"I want you too..." I whispered, slipping the ring onto my finger.

"So, is that a..."  
"Forever" I said "This is a forever" looking at my ring finger one more time, where the band sat on it nicely, I stood up and kissed him, "I love you"  
"I love you too" He said, smiling down at my hand. "Now, I thought that Charlie would not appreciate a ring on that finger, so I also got you this..." He said, laughing, pulling out a silver necklace.

He took my ring and slipped it onto the chain, and then placed that around my neck. Kissing my nose as he clipped it up.

"Were tied now" I whispered, touching the spot where his kidney would be in me, and then the one where he didn't have one. "From this promise and then these. Your always going to be a part of me"  
He smiled and placed his hands over mine, "And I wouldn't have it any other way"

* * *

**Authors Note**

**So, that is pretty much the end of Taking Chances. But i don't think it will be the end for this Bella and Edward. I want to continue into after highschool and such, but i don't think I'll do it just yet. I promise to update with a A/N to as when i have started writting a sequal, but i have become to get slightly bored of this story line, although it has been one of my favourites, so I am going to take a breather, and then begin to write it for again. **

**I have started a seperate story, called Holding on and it's about Bella loosing her parents/friends and husband and then having to raise her children alone, when her friends from primary school come back, she begins to piece together her heart once again. I'll be putting this story up later tonight... so hopefully by the time you have read this, it will be up. :)**

**Eventhough this is the last chapter. I would really, REALLY appriciate a review, to let you know how you felt about this story, and what you think the sequeal, which i promise to get around to doing, should be about.**

**Finally, thankyou all so much for being an awesome support for me. 200+ Reviews has been the largest amount for me, and i know it may not seem alot to some of you, but it's a lot for me. I have really enjoyed reading all your thoughts and opinions.**

**Your writter, Bexta03 or, if you want my name, Becky. I know, big difference from my screen name :)**


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